1. What's your name? Jean? Are you a girl or a boy?
2. Mama!! Whatever...!!..
3. Ma'am, please don't exit the vehicle.
4. Are you Lean's grandmother?
and here are the anwers:
1. bite me
2. no, you didn't just say that!
3. back off, Hitler.
4. No. Are you wearing women's underwear?
This wasn't even funny. Therefore it's your duty to make me appear less lame by stating something you never want to hear again, then answering it like you wanted to.
18 comments:
I was just about leave work but I sat back down to write this. Here's one and I'll add more later.
It's payday but your paycheck isn't ready.
My answer:
Well I'm leaving in 2 minutes so you better make it ready!
I got my paycheck in 1.30 seconds!
DAMN PROCTOLOGISTS!
oh wait, how I wanted to or how I really did? hmmmm.........
How about:
"Wow, you're really young to get that job. How DID you get that job?"
What I usually say:
"I worked really hard, and made some fortunate connections."
What I want to say:
"What? You think I slept with somebody to get this job? Just say what you're really thinking!"
It's important to remember I work for state government - it's merit-based, people!
Thank you for the opportunity to vent, partner. ;)
mmm, hmmmm, if you say so Sarah
bee- yeah those proctologists are so probing
"This wasn't even funny." I never want to hear that again from you because it so was funny. :P
Sorry, I don't have many "but I wanted to say" moments.
I think your responses were classic! :o)
Here's another one from me.
1) I gave you your change! (while at a fast food dive)
Bee: Either you give me my $4.34 or we stop the line right here while you count your effin register!
I needed those 4 bucks for the gumball machine! (not to chew you understand I usually fling 'em at people that piss me off.)
Well there's an offer - maybe over the weekend.
Cheers
The IRS auditor will see you now, Mr. and Mrs. Infidel.
Mr. Chauvinist- "I don't think my wife could handle this job."
Me- You underestimate your wife's abilities. She'd be pretty mad to hear about that.
I got the job! They only hired women for the next 6 years, cause WE did a better job!
Neeener, neeener, neeener. :P
1. (on the phone) "Hello, I'm calling to save you money on your electricity.
Real: "Sorry, I'm not interested."
Ideal: "F..k off!"
2. (Windows dialogue box) "Cannot save your data [OK]"
Real: [OK]
Ideal: I want the button that says [No, it's not f.....g okay]
3. (IT helpdesk) "Have you tried rebooting it?"
Real: No, because I know that wouldn't work.
Ideal: Do you want me to try booting you?
4. Do you have the exact change?
Real: (turn out my pockets) Sorry.
Ideal: Yes, I do, but I thought I'd give you a twenty just to piss you off, what do you think?
"You have a mustache."
Jealous?
"Does your husband LIKE being a probation officer?" (implying he's a human garbage man)
Yes, it keeps him from needing one.
Stupid People:: Your husbands in the AF? Is he patriotic?
Me:: (dryly)-yes.
What I want to say:: No you F*CKING idiot. He likes the uniform!
Do you read ALL your old comments?
Well, do you?
I never ever want to hear "your kids don't speak Español? Don't you know it's so very important" again.
Evoh.
of course I do NCS
Things I want to say but can't on Wordless Wednesday.
My that cock sure can climb.
My that cock is really high.
Leave it to a cock to want to save the day!
::sigh:: I feel better!
yup
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