Sunday, October 28, 2007


This post has it all. Party fun. Turd Rant. An environmental awareness prize. Plus cupcakes.

Saturday: day of leisure, day of celebration, of dog turds?????? Lean's party was here at last. The guests were ready for some outdoor fun and games. Do I disappoint? Never. I started setting up the outdoor paraphernalia, girls ran out into the yard and straight into a pile of dog turds. EEEEK!!! Now that is scary.
My Penny and Polka Dot are confined to the backyard so, obviously they are not the culprits. Time out for a turd rant:

I believe in respecting other people's rights, especially neighbors because we are all in this together,right? You saw the measures I went to to keep Penny out of other people's yards and flower beds. There are others not so courteous.

Our neighborhood is full of unconfined dogs. You can't go for a walk without being followed by at least five dogs, none of which belong to you. Worse yet, they will growl at and lunge at your dog who is on a leash. Complaints don't work, all the dogs are either black labs or golden retrievers, so no matter who you complain to they say it wasn't their dog. I've called the sheriff and he laughed at me. Ha ha ha Jean Knee, you should know there is no leash law where you live...sucka!!! I checked into it with the city counsel, they laughed and said sucka too. Really they said we can have an ordinance passed for a leash law but we will have to fund the animal control catching and containment, can't use the local shelter. Somehow I don't see these careless neighbors funding the impoundment of their own dogs. Bake sales and car washes wouldn't begin to cover costs, so ha ha sucka is right.
We live in a subdivision where you buy land and build. Why don't these people include fences? Put it in the mortgage people, you know you have a dog!

We've used tons of pepper spray, only works for awhile. One dog got in our garage, ripped open a bag of ant poison, ate it and ran away. Serves him right? yeah but really, it's the owners who should be poisoned. So of course I sent Drew out to knock on houses to see if it was their dog so they could take the dog to the vet.
The dog came back for more the next day, ate a little and was totally unharmed. How is this possible? Another dog ran in our garage and got stuck on a sticky mouse trap. Dog ran home with it so at least the owners had to deal with it. I have a hundred similar stories, you get the idea.

The Horror!!!! Strange turds at our party! Drew and I quickly dealt with the offensive droppings. Ewww Eww Ewwww A bit later we were bobbing for apples using cool skeleton tongs, thanks Sarah, and a dog bobbed for and ate an apple. You can't make this stuff up people. Another dog showed up and chased the girls, I yelled at and scared it off. The Horror!!!!!
(at Lean's Easter party we had a live bunny. Yes, many dogs showed up and one ran at a child holding the rabbit. I was beyond furious and scared the crap out of the dogs with my screeching and broom swinging. they did leave) see how I just keep ranting on with dog stories...

Back to the partay!!! It was fabulous and I even have a before and after picture.

Kitchen table before, yes that's right I have that wicked hoarding disease,,so..?

Kitchen table after, (after cleaning but before the noshing)

See the black streamers hanging in the background? I shredded it from last year's costume therefore I win a Father Al award. Yay me!!

couple of closeups..see that wicked sign? Yet again thanks SaraH. I made the evil clown skeleton, look away NCS! Too late, ha ha sucka!

Check out those cupcakes. First time I've had store bought cupcakes-- boo for my diva like homemaking skills petering out. The hoard took all my time.


Melissa said...

Sounds like you need to invest in a b.b. gun... did I say that out loud?
The party decor is awesome! Love the little clown skeleton :)

Tori :) said...

I'm with Melissa.

Sarah B. B. said...

That makes three of us with Melissa's advice. You live in that lawless part of the world - go for it. :) Sounds like the kids hand fun, despite the dog attacks! Plus, it makes things more memorable when the party kids mom gets to get medieval on some doggie hiney.

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Irresponsible dog owners are the bane of our existence.

Jean Knee said...

I must confess, screaming at those mutts does relieve tension, now if I could just stop twitching.

Millie- no truer words were ever spoken

I don;t mind dousing them with pepper spray but the bb seems harsh- although I'd love to shoot the owners a butt full of buck shot

Bee said...

I'm gone for one day and you have tons of fun without me? :o(

Bee said...

Aren't there any kyotes over by ya? I've got kyotes, skunks, vampires etc. over by neck of the woods and I'm not even in the country!

Dogs must be on a leash!

Bee said...

By the way ummmmm... uh... did somebody send you the Wicked sign by mistake?? Yus nutin' but sweetness!

Jean Knee said...

yes we do have coyotes but they only munch on the cats, dogs are too big.

awww, I am sweet aren't I

I did something wicked while you were away probably already know...

Jean Knee said...

but, it wasn't even fun

No Cool Story said...

Strangely enough I find the evil clown skeleton quite cute (it doesn't have the creepy makeup, wig and nose), so who is the sucker now? SUCKA!*

Father Al continues to be so very proud of you (I know this because ha and I have this very special thing going on...)


No Cool Story said...

I jog almost everyday, someone I know let's her stupid little rat dog go out to this park I frequent. Unleashed and unattended the stupid mutt poops wherever it wants and then it has the audacity to grown at me and charge at me every single time, I’m so sick of it.
I so want to kick it, but it occurred to me, if it does eventually bite me…ah Jean Knee, then adios dog.


On the other hand I could be mature and nice and since I know her maybe I should just tell her about her dog.
Isn’t nice to dream?

Rhonda said...

LOL...thanks for the laughs. I had no idea that dogs were so resilient! Sorry you don't have a leash law. We can't even have a CAT outside unless it's on a leash. Picture that.

Lisa said...

Cool party decorations!! I didn't even take pictures because my decorations aren't so fancy.

We have a neighbor dog on the loose around here. One day I had some guy working on my front door and all of a sudden I see a dog in my bedroom upstairs--I don't own a dog! It scared the crap out of me and I had to tell the guy that we don't own a dog. He didn't care. That same dog likes to torture Amanda and I as we walk to school and I have said I would kick it if it got too close. Or drop the backpack on it. Stupid dog.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I love you Jean Knee.....and your mad party skillz.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

What you need to do is buily yo self a little Jean Knee Army with eyes and ears out for pooping dogs.

All six of my kids camp out to do their school work by the front window. When they see people letting their dogs linger in our yard, they all come running out, crossing their arms, and staring at the offending party until they scamper away like the Turd Cowards they are.

My own little POOP Vigilantes!

Jean Knee said...

NCS- you are too nice to ever do anything eviillllll! besides, evil clowns avenge all pet misdeeds.

and what would Father Al think? it would be the lock box for you, baby!

my new pwt has stopped growing, I'm sad but hopeful

Jean Knee said...

Rhonda, I put a leash on my cat one time because I mistakenly believed he wanted to go on a walk with the dog. He collapsed into a jelly-like substance and would not move. I even dragged him ariund the yard a little and-nothing still the boneless blob of jelly.

Jean Knee said...

Lisa- you promised a witch picture, well where is it???

yes we had the neighbor's cat in the attic running around on the ceiling. I thought it was a raccoon because of the size, and let me tell you those things don't leave willingly, but it was a cat and he came when called. luck o the Irish

Jean Knee said...

elastic, what can I say. Your amazing fertility has always been a topic of envy for me. Why don't I take that cutie pie Melody off your hands?
You don't really want Lean to be alone in the house with just me do you?

I'll even come get her if you don't want her riding the bus alone
(once she's here we'll knock that sissy bus stranger caution right out)