Friday, October 19, 2007

I Want a New Pet

This is a song that should be sung to the tune of "I want a new drug" by Elastic's favorite band Huey Lewis and the News.

I want a new pet,
one that won't jump the fence.
One that won't beat Polka Dot up,
or make him wince.

I want a new pet,
not one from the pound.
one that won't scratch the door all day,
or dig holes in the ground.

I want a new pet,
one who can swim.
One who's not always comatose,
one who moves his fin.

A new pet arrived for me. Of course I'm a little uneasy since my old pets require enormous amounts of time and patience. But..This one promises to be hassel free.
Needs no training, is flea free, no barking, no digging,no fence hopping, and no fighting. Swweeet!

That's right, I'm going to grow a pet. Take a look.





Awesome, huh? It grows in size by 600%. (Sounds like by butt since high school).
Now, the directions say to put the pet in a container of water and it will grow completely( 600% remember!) in ten days. Hmmmmm

I think I'll keep a pictorial log of my pet's growth so you math nerds can graph it on a super kewl graph! Fabulous!


Here is the before shot





Here is the pet in the water




Grow a pet update and photo tomorrow. Can't wait!

42 comments:

compulsive writer said...

I lovey Huey Lewis. I want a pet that will feed itself and clean its own cage or bowl. Now that I think about it, I'd like kids that would do that, too.

Jean Knee said...

shoot, I'd just like it if I'd do it. oh well

Jean Knee said...

you got hate mail for that post?

yeah I had you pegged for an environmental hating internet terrorist right away.




just kiddin

Bee said...

WOW! My imagination is all ober the place on this!! I have never seen som many little critters in rainbow colors shaped like polka dots!!
Back to bed I go.

Bee said...

Uh... I meant "over" or "uber" who knows.

Bee said...

Did you ever watch the Southpark episode with Seamen?

Not you with seamen I mean the epsiode featured seamen.

Probably not cuz it's pretty vulgar... BUT IT WAS HILARIOUS!!
Not that I watch such obscene things...

Jean Knee said...

I love south park but I don't watch tv any more so, I didn't see it
it's very vulgar so when I watch it I make my cupcake side look away.

one can never have too many personalities you know

Bee said...

Fiddle Faddle!

Bee said...

Flippin' Bee!

Brian o Vretanos said...

Could you PLEASE (I'm on my knees begging, metaphorically speaking, whilst weeping with angst) do something about that hellish orange background? It's almost the same colour as the text... Or make the text black. It's practically unreadable... I'm using Firefox - I don't know if that makes a difference - I'm not about to fire up the M/Soft pile of **** to find out...

Pet: This isn't one of those "sea monster" things, is it? Or a sponge?

Surely the answer is that the pets aren't yours - they belong to your children (or is it only one? I can't read orange on orange). Then you get them to do all the pet chores as part of their education & personal development.

Jean Knee said...

brian- changed the color just for you. now don't you feel special?

Kimberly said...

Brilliant! But your blog is hurting my brain. Seriously!

Jean Knee said...

Amanda, how could my blog be hurting your brain? its so innocuous and all. you know whaat hurts your brain is not gettin your orchard boy fix

No Cool Story said...

Oh boy OH BOY!!
What are you naming him/her?
I wish I were good at math, but alas, I'm not so I'll just have to take your word Jean Knee.

PS: Your blog doesn't hurt my brain. But I'm using IE and I am a nerd so...

Jean Knee said...

NCS-I'm not sure if my pet is a boy or girl, so far nothing has, well, stood out. so I'm thinkin girl.

No Cool Story said...

I hope that bowl is big enough for her.
I love her face, she looks like a samrt dog.

Tori :) said...

I can't wait to see how big your pet grows. Will Mr. Cock be jealous???

You could get a virtual pet like my Jacob on my sidebar. :)

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Your pet looks forlorn. Will Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo be paying him a visit?

By the way, at Olive Garden the other night, I saw Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo's twin on the shelf. I pointed him out to Bunny, who thought I was nuts. That's the real reason I grabbed the other guy's butt.

Bee said...

Uh... there's no colorful polka dots on that thing! Are you sure it's really yours?

No Cool Story said...

"she looks like a samrt dog"

bet she's a better speller too.

Lisa said...

We are really considering a dog-but maybe.....maybe this is the answer! Can't wait to see the "after"!

Bee said...

How big is it now?

Bee said...

How about now?

Jean Knee said...

I hope you don't do this to Andy....

Bee said...

Andy can go from 0 to 100 just by me winking at him... TMI? ;o)

No Cool Story said...

Ah Blogger you foul villain!

Bee said...

How come I kent leave comment on your new post?

Wow! That thing is Yhuge!

[That's what she said!]

Jean Knee said...

oh, that's just a thing showing you it grew, not a real post

I'm too brain dead to write a real post, so this way people can just look & leave

normanbatesmomma said...

Too bad you don't have a son. You wouldn't need a pet to comfort you or make you feel loved.

No Cool Story said...

* looks & leaves *

No Cool Story said...

*comes back...does a little YAY dance...leaves again*

Bee said...

I dunno how I feel about you kickin' me outta your blog...

Let me check...

Well, I guess it's okay as long as you post another picture tomorrow.

I'm expecting that thing uh, dog to be as big as polka dot by tomorrow.

Bee said...

jean knee, it's a federal offense to imitate another person on her blog and leave slanderous comments like chris angel is hawt. I don't want to report you to the BFSCRDFTHU...

Bee said...

I have to go watch Chuck and Heroes but I'll be back!

Bee said...

Much to Andt's pissedoffedness, here I am to avenge myself!



JEAN KNEE AND OJ SITTIN' IN A TREE!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Bee said...

You know he's guilty right? Or does your love for him blind you?

Don't you have his belly button lint?

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I have one of those in a poodle variety. I wanted to grow it big like the standard poodles so I could make some money on the side by making it perform and jump through flaming hula hoops.

It caught on fire and melted. :(

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Did you know that we're sharing a brain, jean knee? Yes, we are. You'll see what I'm talking about in just a couple of days.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I love that you dropped my name and a Huey Lewis reference into this post. As my man Huey would say, 'That's The Power Of Love.' Or wait, maybe he would say 'It's Hip To Be Square While You're Walking On A Thin Line And Doing It All For Your Baby While CLimbing Jacob's Ladder Back In Time.'

Whatever. 'I'm Happy To Be Stuck With You,' jean knee.

Bee said...

In case you were wondering,
BFSCRDFTHU...

Bloggin’
Federation
Silencing
Crazy
Raisins (with)
Deranged
Force
Thru
Highkicks
United

Annie said...

Your pet looks forlorn. Will Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo be paying him a visit?

By the way, at Olive Garden the other night, I saw Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo's twin on the shelf. I pointed him out to Bunny, who thought I was nuts. That's the real reason I grabbed the other guy's butt.

Melissa said...

Good luck with your new pet! We had a grow your own dinosaur one time... on day ten it got really squishy and feel apart. Devastating.