Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Mean Mean Jean

Sometimes I hate my job...... I do. Most often I love it. .... I do.

Being a mom is hard. I feel vast amounts of that good ole Catholic guilt washing all over me. And I'm not even Catholic.

This morning Lean and I spent a good bit of time putting her lunch together. She makes her own lunch and has various things from which to choose.(check that, grammar check).

We drive up to the boarding area ( I stay in the car and drive up to the correct number) then realize Lean has forgotten her lunch. DANG!!! I give her money for lunch and tell her she will have to buy her lunch today. Protest cries ring out, "Mama! please go home and get my lunchbox, I don't want to buy my lunch!"
followed by actual tears. My heart crumpled people. It did.

A million related ideas swarmed my mind. I remember on a field trip a dog ate my lunch, how this happened I never understood, and I had no lunch. Of course other kind people offered to share their lunch with me. I refused all kind offers. It nearly ruined the whole field trip for me.

I also know that children have to learn to be responsible for themselves and their various gear. Lean has not been turning things in at school, and has lost an art project. If I swoop in there with her lunch she'll not learn anything and will probably forget it many times over, on and on until she is a 55 year old spinster living at home and I'll still be bringing her lunch to her. The Horror!

I know women in their 50's that still can't get their acts together. Plus now they have various irresponsible children to cater to as well.

I took a load of items to Good Will last summer. My friend admonished me for not giving the items to the Salvation Army because they give their things away free.
In my way of thinking, Good Will was the right choice because they employ people with disabilities. No free handouts, work for what you get. It's been my experience (13 years working with low income families) that if you get something without working for it, you don't use it as a base to boost yourself up with, but rather you expect more and more things to be given to you. But, I digress.

Any way, these things and more rushed through my mind. Also scenes where my Little Lean is crying for her lunch, and the lunch for today is brussells sprouts covered in gravy!! Not to mention all those mothers clicking their tongues at me and saying,
" She only lives 10 minutes from school and she wouldn't bring Lean her lunch". Shovel it, you enabler moms.

I keep peeking at her lunch sitting there on the kitchen table. I bet it won't be left there tomorrow.

P. S. you don't have to agree with me, this is a free forum


Tori :) said...

That's a hard one. I'm not really an enabler, but I do spoil my kids. I probably would have gone home to get it. But I totally agree with your points. They are very valid and true. I just suck.

Tori :) said...

PS. I am impressed with your grammar skills.

Stacey said...

I probably would have sat at home for an hour debating if I should take the lunch to school.

I agree with your points though.

B said...

I'm with you - sometimes it sucks being a mom, especially when you have to be the big meanie! But kids have to learn responsibility and if we don't teach them, no one else is going to it for us. My kid is 16 and I'm still having to make her learn things the hard way. Hubs is the "pushover" in our family. Whatevery his little "Angel Face" wants, she has to have it. Stick to your principals and you will have a wonderful, responsible, and thankful, daughter when she grows up.

Jean Knee said...

Tori- you do not suck, except through straws of course

Stacey- her lunch time is in an hour and a half and I want to take it to her very badly
if she winds up in therapy I'll be sorry

Jean Knee said...

b- I'm usually the push over, but I'm gettin better

Bee said...

Rock on Mother Jean Knee!

We had to work for everything we had and we are better for it! :o)

Also, the reason I wouldn't be good with kids is, I would eat her lunch and then let her know I did. ;o)

Lisa said...

Yesterday I watched my youngest pull her dance leotard out of her pile of clothes in the laundry room and leave the rest there. She already has a little chore list that says "pick up your laundry" every. single. day. When I saw this I said, "Here is the deal...If the clothes are still there each night, they will disappear. Even if you have no shorts to wear." It's tough, but without the lesson, there is no learning.

But ewww to brussel sprouts with gravy. I'm sure that will be yummy!

No Cool Story said...

You gots skillz.
Beign a mom sux so bad sometimes.
Sometimes I let things go, but sometimes you just have to be the unfun, "you are ruining my life" mom.

Jennifer B. said...

Tough choices.

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

I can't beLEEEEEEVE you.

(I've done the same thing)

And suddenly... all was right with the world.

Kimberly said...

I don't have to. But I do.

Some call it tough love. Tough-schmough. What's tough is having parents that teach you there'll always be someone there to make everything better after you make a mistake.

Good on ya!

Jean Knee said...

She's home. not one word has been said about the lunch.


Bee said...

Is it killing you that while you were agonizing, she forgot about it at soon as she saw her friends???

Bee said...

I think your kid is fine tuning the art of making mommy crazy... smart girl!

Jean Knee said...

And now a confession. Remember earlier today I was talkin all tough about making Lean responsible. At that very moment I had a dr. appt. that I missed.
School was out yesterday for Columbus day so I mixed up the day. Even worse: We missed dance class yesterday for the same reason.
I need some of that tough love, baby!

Jean Knee said...

bee- that kid knew how to drive me crazy in vetro

Sarah B. B. said...

Dear Partner,

As a recovering elementary school teacher, let me stand up on my CHAIR and scream to all of the other moms that you did the right thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Enabling is a HUGE problem in our lovely modern we-want-our-kids-to-have-it-easy culture, and I won't jump onto that soapbox on YOUR blog, but I applaud you. And, as you saw this afternoon, the Earth did not fall off its axis. And you even managed to correctly use "whom." That, my friend, is a red-letter day.

Yo' Pardnuh

Jean Knee said...

any correct grammar or spelling was
unintentional and will probably not be repeated.

Jean Knee said...

bee- I meant in utero

Jean Knee said...

see what I mean, I get close, butt no cigar

carronin said...

You have a gift my friend don't hide it in a bushel basket

Bee said...


Jean Knee said...

carronin- I'm having deja vous
for some reason

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Back in my day, we got a standard issue 'squishy PB&J bleeding through day-old white bread' from the cafeteria if we didn't have money and forgot our lunch. And I lived to tell the tale, dangit!

I also had a Mork And Mindy lunchbox. I just wanted you to know that, jean knee.

Kayelyn said...

The mommy in me feels your struggle. The therapist in me says you so did the right thing. Thank you dear mother for not providing me with any more job security. As it is now I could work until I'm 898 years old. Gaaah!

But anyway, I am with you all the way. You are an awesome mom!