Sometimes I hate my job...... I do. Most often I love it. .... I do.
Being a mom is hard. I feel vast amounts of that good ole Catholic guilt washing all over me. And I'm not even Catholic.
This morning Lean and I spent a good bit of time putting her lunch together. She makes her own lunch and has various things from which to choose.(check that, grammar check).
We drive up to the boarding area ( I stay in the car and drive up to the correct number) then realize Lean has forgotten her lunch. DANG!!! I give her money for lunch and tell her she will have to buy her lunch today. Protest cries ring out, "Mama! please go home and get my lunchbox, I don't want to buy my lunch!"
followed by actual tears. My heart crumpled people. It did.
A million related ideas swarmed my mind. I remember on a field trip a dog ate my lunch, how this happened I never understood, and I had no lunch. Of course other kind people offered to share their lunch with me. I refused all kind offers. It nearly ruined the whole field trip for me.
I also know that children have to learn to be responsible for themselves and their various gear. Lean has not been turning things in at school, and has lost an art project. If I swoop in there with her lunch she'll not learn anything and will probably forget it many times over, on and on until she is a 55 year old spinster living at home and I'll still be bringing her lunch to her. The Horror!
I know women in their 50's that still can't get their acts together. Plus now they have various irresponsible children to cater to as well.
I took a load of items to Good Will last summer. My friend admonished me for not giving the items to the Salvation Army because they give their things away free.
In my way of thinking, Good Will was the right choice because they employ people with disabilities. No free handouts, work for what you get. It's been my experience (13 years working with low income families) that if you get something without working for it, you don't use it as a base to boost yourself up with, but rather you expect more and more things to be given to you. But, I digress.
Any way, these things and more rushed through my mind. Also scenes where my Little Lean is crying for her lunch, and the lunch for today is brussells sprouts covered in gravy!! Not to mention all those mothers clicking their tongues at me and saying,
" She only lives 10 minutes from school and she wouldn't bring Lean her lunch". Shovel it, you enabler moms.
I keep peeking at her lunch sitting there on the kitchen table. I bet it won't be left there tomorrow.
P. S. you don't have to agree with me, this is a free forum