Friday, June 29, 2007

Green Hair

Okay all you experienced mom gurus out there, something has happened and I'm clueless ( all of you who thought "again?" , well something..

My daughter's hair has turned green at the ends. Uh huh she's a blond, been swimming a lot... I like the idea of living a green life but not this green.
What do I do?

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Melting Pot

Don't worry this isn't a quasi-political post exploring America's progress with racial integration. sigh

The Melting Pot is the greatest,yummiest, most happening cheese fest on the planet. That's right all fondue, all the time; three course fondue deliciousness. mmmmm

This is not the kiddie fondue playset with mini marshmallows and generic Hershey's syrup of your youth. This is the REAL DEAL ( yes it's a chain but that don't mean it aint real baby)

We sat down and there's a warming element built into the table, not on the table-built in. The waiter brings a tray with fresh ingredients: three kinds of cheeses, saki, herbs, garlic,leeks, then he tosses them in a pot right at your table. It melts around for a while then you go through training. Skew, dip,lift,twist,put on plate,remove from skewer, eat. We were naturals. We skewed and devoured mountains of assorted bread and veggies using the proper technique-mostly. A novice across from us apparently did not pass the training session. He skewered, dipped, lifted then shoved it right in his mouth. Yep, cheese everywhere and that dreaded double dipping.

The meat course came out next; every meat known to man plus seven different dipping sauces. All good until the waiter tried to take the cheese. What is going on?? A fondue place should have everything slathered in cheese. Am I right? I told him I wanted the cheese. I could tell he disapproved but the hunger in my eyes kept him from saying anything because, after all, I am the one holding the skewer. He let me keep it off to the side while the meat broth was simmering on the built in burner. I was the first and only customer to insist on keeping the cheese. It's FONDUE remember? I dipped every meat in the cheese, forget the sauces- it's FONDUE

Last course was a chocolate caramel fondue with assorted delicasies.
This was real chocolate people. We dipped brownie bits, pound cake pieces. cheesecake nibblers, marshmallows and fruit. Fondue baby, FONDUE

Then vacation was over, bummer.

My DH, Drew, purchased a swiss fondue at our local grocery. That man is priceless I tell you. One night after everyone was asleep I had to have the FONDUE. I HAD. TO. Have. It. Directions said not to microwave, curious. I poured it into a pan and gently simmered it , I love to cook. It smelled, well, strong. I dipped a small sliver of bread into it and tasted. Seemed pretty good so I hurriedly drenched and consumed some more. I stopped when I heard a noise- no way I'm sharing FONDUE. During my pause I noticed my throat was burning, my stomach was burning, my toes were tingling. I grabbed the box and read that the second ingredient was wine, ... , fourth ingredient brandy. Now I know why no microwave--this stuff was 80 proof. Egads I'm gonna have a hang over in the morning. Yikes!

I guess that's why Swiss families are always smiling. FONDUE baby, FONDUE!

Good Mail

Good news girls, I have 7, that's right seven, GM packages ready to go out in the mail tomorrow. Can't tell you what's in them but it's mmm mmm good (that's a hint).

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Secrets

Have you seen that site postsecret? It's " an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a home made post card".
I've seen it twice. Once on Father's Day and then again today. At first it just made me uncomfortable because it's kinda like spying, then I felt freaked out at some of the content. Then I thought about what could make a person send in their secrets on a post card for anyone in cyberspace to see.

I kept browsing seeing that some were witty, some were sad,some were angry, yet others bewildering.(I can relate to the insomnia one personally).

The post cards are very much like life in all its complicated complications. Don't we all have days of feeling witty, feeling sad, feeling shame, feeling bewildered? And what if when we're feeling these things we have no where to go with them? It must be very freeing to send off your burden and share it with others. Some will relate to it, some will be astounded, others outraged. Yet when the secret is shared doesn't it become diluted every time someone sees it and thinks about it-- no matter their reaction? Doesn't it become lighter for the person carrying it around.

I think it does.
I hope it does.
I thought about each card I saw.
I shared the burden.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Rod For Sale--Cheap

Today was the last day of swim lessons. The before mentioned moms all showed up with men in tow. Each couple oooed and awwwwed over their progeny and everyone took numerous photos. Laughter was heard, snips of conversation. Joy was in the air.

I showed up with no man and no camera. I sat in my chair, mouth agape, and watched in complete silence.

Insert rod.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Terrorists in my Household

We've gladly shared our home with spiders, snakes, crickets, june bugs, mice etc..Okay I did put out a trap for the mouse because sharing can only go so far. (it was sharing its droppings with us- not cool

We have been under siege, attacked in our own home. I'm talkin bout scorpians. We've had a few of them off and on for the last couple of years; I smashed them; didn't think about it too much. but now they are infiltrating the very heart of our home : First casualty; Polka Dot, family dog, scorpian stung him on the rear paw. He limpled for two days.

Second(near miss); Lean, beloved daaughter. This A.M. after putting on her swim suit she told me there was a prickle on her swim suit and would I check for it. I patted suit down, did not feel a prickle. Then I see a scorpian on her chest. I yell "put your arms up!" and swat it off her. Then I slap it with a shoe a few times- nothing...it keeps coming for me so I smash it down into the carpet with shoe- still coming I smash and squash it relentlessly, just in case its a "jason" like critter, until dead. I'm guessing it just pinched her a little bit with its front pinchers. How it missed stinging I don't Know.

So after all this is over Lean says in a totally matter o fact voice " let's put it in the spider web on the mailbox,,which we did.

Moral: if a terrorist threatens you or yours smash it repeatedly anhd then feed it to a spider.

Look at what Sarah taught me to do

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

My Life Update

Yes it will be boring but what do I care? I'm not gonna read it. Apparently no one else is either. Go figure.

Got some good mail today! These girls know who they are and what they sent me. I was a little disappointed to find out I wasn't the only one to get an envelope full of bird feathers. Don't know what it means-yet.

Got my swap partner. I browsed her site and itis lovely. She's an artist who creates vintage lovelies. They are so sweet and pretty. Check her out at cheryl-comfort.blogspot.com. Sorry I cant'l link.

Other news: also got an overdue library notice and bills a plenty. Who sends this stuff? I didn't sign up for any of it

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Swim Lessons

Two weeks ago I signed my daughter,Lean, up to take swim lessons from a local teacher who teaches at her house. Things went fine. Lean found a friend, she wasn't too scared etc.

The parents sat on a shaded porch lush with flowers, rocking chairs a nice breeze. Everyone was friendly and chatty. I learned all about Barb's grandchildren and husband. Kelly updated us on the current book she was reading every day. Every body cheered the kids on--it was nice--I looked forward to it every day.

We went on vacation for a week and Lean did okay in the hotel pool but still needed some lessons. So this week we returned. This was a different class on its second week so everyone was new to us. Lean went down to the pool and I went to the porch and said "Hi" to everyone.
I was answered with blank stares. Okay, they may be shy. So I sat down and asked the mom next to me the general stuff. Answered with one word answers no eye contact. Okay maybe I smell funny whatever, there's always tomorrow.

Well today is tomorrow so we went back. Once again"HI" ; blank stare. I see a mom that was in the last session with us (who was friendly and all before). I say "hi what's new etc. ) nothing but a couple of two word mumbles. No less than four of the moms immediately began to talk on cell phones. Then they had the nerve to speak in another language so I couldn't even eavesdrop. bummer Of course it became obvious that they all had rods up their bums. Gone were the fluffy little chit chats to be replaced by stiff anal rods. My word! who ordered those things?

Do you purchase them and have them installed or are they something you catch from others? Well I guess the mom from the first session must have caught it somehow during the week we were on vacation. This is alarming to me, will I also catch a stiff rod up my arse from swim lessons? Hope not , but just in case I'm wearing two pairs of underware and some thick jeans tomorrow. I also will not be bending over.

Sorry I digressed from my usual perky polka dot prattle.

Monday, June 18, 2007

I'm In

Ha, my email did in fact reach the swap on time.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Orange & Yellow Swap

I bought some sassy yellow lip gloss today for the yellow & orange swap at Sweet Goodness Swaps. I've been trying to decide how to jazz it up; add ribbon? glue on beads? What what what. Then I remembered that I signed up late and probably am not even going to be in that swap. Of course this won't stop me. I'll do it anyway and send it to myself. Does this mean I have a problem?

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Swap Happy

Wowsa wow wow. I'm hooked. I'm a believer. I'm there. I'm talkin bout swaps. I did the partea time swap at the partea planner. Got my swap box today. Everything was so awesome and caring and wow. Thanks Heidi.
It's kinda like a drug I can't wait to do again? Check everything out on flikr under partea time swap- code name ppinkmomma.
Now that i've done one I see them all over blog land and want to do them all. I gotta go slow and easy or I will really get hooked. I can just see it: I'm at the computer 24/7 looking for the latest "fix". My family never sees me, I have to mortgage the house to pay postage, dirty laundry and dishes pile up all around me, I mean more than usual.

help

Friday, June 15, 2007

Slow Out Of The Gate

Well here it is, my first ever blog thing. To my immense horror and embarrassment I started my blog and all and then went on vacation without making an actual post because, well you know, I don't know what I am doing. I saw that some peopple had visited, thanks Annie you little sweet heart, but there was nothing to read. Sorry, sorry,sorry sorry and now the blog:



Hi. I realize now that I should have read other gal's beginning blogs but I didn't so I'm fumbling in the dark here which is okay because I think I can erase this in the future if it's too stupid.





Put Some Polka Dots On It---- is not just a rambling blog some mom from Texas decided to do (although it is that too) but a philosophy for living a fulfilled and embellished life. That's right it's a new way to live and think and be. The basic premise is this: If you are doing, making, altering, consuming, creating something and it is just not coming out right--Put Some Polka Dots On It. I can't think of too many things that can not be rescued or enhanced by a sweet sprinkling of neon flashing Polka Dots.

This dawned on me one day when I was trying to craft a party favor. I had bright colors, ribbon, goodies but it was just a flop. I was showing it to my friend and it just wasn't working for her either. It lacked. Then I spyed a package of polka dot stickers. I Put Some Polka Dots On It and voila.... It was transformed into a cute little party favor. Since then I have added polka dots to anything that ain't coming out right or to things that are coming out right and there you have it. Party supplies too boring? -put some polka dots on it brown bag lunch embarrasing the kids?-put some polka dots on it turned hubbies tighty whiteys pink in the wash?-put some polka dots on it lawn is two feet high and neighbors are staring?-put some polka dots on it etc....you get the idea

Try it out and see what you think. Life's too short for editing, polka dots are the way to go.





Well that's it then. My first blog thing. I think it went okay. No one's bleeding anyway. I'll try again later.





Remember: If life gives you lemons what do you do? that's right , put some polka dots on it



bye,

Jean Knee