Woke up this morning on a mission. Today I'm gonna look bad ashed. Slip into shower and shave all visible hairy surfaces ( sorry crap, the stache had to go).
Out of the shower into the grooming zone. I need extra time here. Mascara, eyeliner, base, powder and even,dare I tell you, shiny, kick ash lip color. Style my hair into a spiky, funky 80's do. Spray hub's aerosol deodorant all over pitt area- I deserve it- don't I?
Clothing: forgo the usual jean shorts & tie dye t-shirt combo. I need an edge here.
Black city shorts and tank. Top with groovy, olive, crinkly type shirt. Add rockin shark's tooth necklace and silly little sequined flip flops. Spike the hair some more.
Looking groomed,looking like a bad ash on a mission, looking good. Oh yeah
Ready to go on the mission.
No car keys--what?!!! I have to have my sweet ride take me on my mission. Search frantically, scour the garage, dig through the dog food- no keys but there's another toad--do they even eat dog food?
Hair do falls into a boring house wife do because of drizzling, this is Texas- rains every day.
Panic. Call hubs, screech into phone.... he's coming to bring me his spare.
I can still pull off this bad ash mission. Regroup
Spike the hair, check the mirror, yeah I wouldn't mess with that bad ash, stuck in the 80's crazy chick.
Drive. Exit car.
Throw open door of business, all eyes stare ( two people are present). Who is this bad ash?
"Can we help you?"
I'm here to pick up my party stuff.( such eloquent use of language- thanks)
"oh, didn't recognize you without my glasses" UH_HUH- I know its cause I'm looking groomed,confident and bad ashed. I turn to give a better view of my spiked hair.
"Oh, here it is, we liked it we just can't do it right now..yadda yadda yadda"
UH_HUH,what about the photos I sent?
"Here they are yadda yadda yadda"
Right, I don't want to leave you thinking I was trying to get free 'product' from you.
"Oh, no yadda yadda yadda"
Okay, that's fine but I want to pay for the 'product'. ( you see, I have granite counter tops)
" Oh, no yadda yadda yadda"
I thrust an envelope at them, they try to return it, I counter thrust and leave. Still looking edgy and in control, baby!
Return home. Don jean shorts and tie dye. Look in mirror.