Monday, December 17, 2007

An Important Tip For Those Flying This Holiday Season

On Saturday I ventured to make French toast in my trusty waffle maker 4000. It turned out delectable, both sides evenly crisped and scab like. MMMmmm, the perfect French Toast.

This reminded Drew of a cautionary tale I will share with you now, dear readers.

We hopped an early morning flight going somewhere fun. The stewardess asked for our order and I ordered French Toast, after which I fell into a deep sleep. Some time later I awoke to a lovely sight of Fancy French Toast rolled and powdered with confectioner's sugar sitting oh so demurely on my tray table. I quickly grabbed it and and took a big bite, mmm. What!??? Oh THE HORROR!! I had bitten into the hot towel you were supposed to wash your hands with. What kind of vile joke was this??
You take an order for French toast and roll a hand cloth up to look like a confection and serve it to an unconscious person??? Oh the outrage!!!!

Oh how foolish I felt. I did notice that the stewardess didn't even crack a smile. They go through vigorous training to deal with emergency situations such as hand towel eating. I bet I was the first, but I suspect not the last.

Fellow travelers, do not let this happen to you. Order the omelet and sausages to be safe.


I'll have mine with extra syrup and butter please.

24 comments:

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Freshly Soiled Butt Towel is on the menu at my house when you come to visit me, jean knee.

Powdered sugar sold seperately or we can make it a BYODPS affair.
Bring Your Damn Powdered Sugar

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Remember:
WWJD?
What Would Jemima Do?
She'd smack your hand for using powdered sugar, that's what, and substitute some nice drippy syrup instead.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

My post has been up for 30 minutes. Why haven't you commented yet? Are you mad at me? Do you know that I posted you to the Most Wanted French Toast Criminal List down at IHOP??!?

Mrs. Monkey said...

LOL at EWBL!

*note to self- order the omlet and sausage when flying* *note to self- fly with airline that allows you to order food!*

No Cool Story said...

Jean Knee...are you using Millie's NyQuil by any chance?

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

NyQuil: The breakfast of champions.

I really wish I'd been there to see you digging into your towel. I could have mocked you the rest of the trip. What a great bonding opportunity.

Brian o Vretanos said...

If you fly pig class they don't give you French toast. Or towels. I wonder what would happen if you ate one. Could you try waffle-making one as an experiment, and let us know?

Another kind of airline "food" to avoid: a paper bag containing something that looks like stew...

Flying isn't as safe as they make out.

Jean Knee said...

you must understand this was a while ago when they still served food pre 9-11.

now you don't even get those bags of stale peanuts

Bee said...

JEAN KNEE!!! Why do you post without telling me?? I come over and check on you on a regular bases and then you post and I'm left to be the 9th comment!! :o(

Bee said...

Having said that, I want to ask a more important question-- are you a member?

Bee said...

Another question, what did the towel taste like? Was it too much terry cloth? Bleachy?

Jean Knee said...

funny you should ask, that towel tasted just like lemon pledge

all lemony


and pledgey

Jean Knee said...

and it was a wash cloth, they only called it a towel, liars

Bee said...

Question not answered:
important question-- are you a member?

No Cool Story said...

I still think this is all a NyQuil induced dream: The obvious signs are these "waffles" you dreamed up, then these "towels" she gave you. Right, right.

And now you tell me Father Al is #2most influential person.

I believe none of it!

Brian o Vretanos said...

membership:

I've never seen the point, at least not in a pressurised cabin...

Jean Knee said...

no no no no, I am not a member. Have you seen the size of those porta potty wannabees they have on planes???

Ncs- I don't take nyquil because that's only for weenies that can't take a feww sneezes.
I am on double doses of vicodin though- it's legitimate medication prescribed by a real doctor

Melissa said...

Tasty!! I wonder if I could serve this for our Christmas breakfast??

Bee said...

What are you guys talking about???
I’m asking if you’re a part of the Frequent Fliers Club.

This legitimate doctor, is it Doc Holiday operating out of the back of his trunk?

Jean Knee said...

Of course we are frequent fliers, how else would we get to fly first class?

you don't even get a wet nap in coach

wynne said...

You know, Douglas Adams recommends that all travelers take a towel with them, and that they soak corners of it in nutrients so when you are starving, you can suck on the towel.

But not even he suggested that you try to eat it.

wynne said...

And I'M a MEMBER...

wynne said...

...of a book club. Wanna see my card?

No Cool Story said...

I'm not a member.
Of any Book club.

Or any club that Bee has in mind.
You barely have room for your purse, a tiny little pillow, a thin-sheet like blanket, a microscopic cup of sprite and 3 stale peanuts.
That ain't no club I wanna join.

Hmm...so Bee, are you a member?