I reached the inner sanctum. I made it inside Lean's school. First I parked in the 'no parking' parking lot. I exited the car--there was no SWAT team propelling down the side of the building.
I hadn't been spotted yet. Keep walking. The doors are locked, no surprise there. I press a button; a voice tells me to enter. Here's where my re-education kicks in. I don't try to walk down the hall, instead I run into the office. Glance around. There are no wanted posters of me labeled "rule breaking parent". That's good, right?
My criminal background check must have passed. I kid you not, at the PTA meeting that you couldn't bring your children to, I had to authorize a criminal background check on myself so that I'd be allowed to enter the building with doughnuts.
I am 5 -five- minutes early so I am retained in the office until exactly 2:15 pm.
Naughty me, here I thought being early was a virtue. Finally I'm allowed to walk down the hall to Lean's room. I swear I heard a chorus of angels.
I won't bore you with the details, suffice it to say I only broke one -1- rule with my habitually criminal self. Lean wanted doughnuts with sprinkles. Frosting is forbidden in the inner sanctum. Well, I bet you saw this coming, sprinkles refuse to adhere to doughnuts without that wicked frosting to stick to.
So I frosted them. Lightly. And rolled them in a huge bowl of sprinkles to hide that forbidden frosting. Looked great, no white showing through. Every thing's cool.
No one drops their doughnut on the carpet. But then the unexpected happens, sprinkles begin to pop off doughnuts left and right. Onto the carpet. I brought a bottle of Resolve carpet cleaner with me in case of carpet-frosting soiling. I was unprepared for sprinkle mutiny. I tried to scoop them up. Nothing doing.
The dustbuster was at home, stupid place for it.
Doughnut dining over.
What do you suppose the sprinkle re-education will be like?