Thursday, September 20, 2007

D is for Doughnut; The Mighty Fortress Allows Admission

I reached the inner sanctum. I made it inside Lean's school. First I parked in the 'no parking' parking lot. I exited the car--there was no SWAT team propelling down the side of the building.

I hadn't been spotted yet. Keep walking. The doors are locked, no surprise there. I press a button; a voice tells me to enter. Here's where my re-education kicks in. I don't try to walk down the hall, instead I run into the office. Glance around. There are no wanted posters of me labeled "rule breaking parent". That's good, right?

My criminal background check must have passed. I kid you not, at the PTA meeting that you couldn't bring your children to, I had to authorize a criminal background check on myself so that I'd be allowed to enter the building with doughnuts.

I am 5 -five- minutes early so I am retained in the office until exactly 2:15 pm.
Naughty me, here I thought being early was a virtue. Finally I'm allowed to walk down the hall to Lean's room. I swear I heard a chorus of angels.

I won't bore you with the details, suffice it to say I only broke one -1- rule with my habitually criminal self. Lean wanted doughnuts with sprinkles. Frosting is forbidden in the inner sanctum. Well, I bet you saw this coming, sprinkles refuse to adhere to doughnuts without that wicked frosting to stick to.
So I frosted them. Lightly. And rolled them in a huge bowl of sprinkles to hide that forbidden frosting. Looked great, no white showing through. Every thing's cool.

No one drops their doughnut on the carpet. But then the unexpected happens, sprinkles begin to pop off doughnuts left and right. Onto the carpet. I brought a bottle of Resolve carpet cleaner with me in case of carpet-frosting soiling. I was unprepared for sprinkle mutiny. I tried to scoop them up. Nothing doing.
The dustbuster was at home, stupid place for it.

Doughnut dining over.

What do you suppose the sprinkle re-education will be like?

34 comments:

Kayelyn said...

I thought that you lived in the USA. I must have mistaken your location, because it sounds like a N@zi @rmy school.

Good grief. You can't have donuts without sprinkles. My daughters will confirm that!

Bee said...

Just when I thought I would be the first commentator!

Bee said...

Maybe you can say the you were leavng a trail of sprinkles so the frosted clown could find his way to entertain the kids???

Brian o Vretanos said...

Congratualations at foiling the Frosting Gestapo (and for spelling "doughnut" properly).

The shocking thing was that they let you in with Junk Food at all! That wouldn't happen here. As part of a campaign to improve kid's diets, there are all sorts of restrictions about what food they can have when (my daughter can't take any drink except water to school). Until lunchtime in the privately run canteens, where they can have all the chips (Proper Enlgish for Fries) they can afford.

Lisa said...

Your school experience must be a reflection of your location. Really. I have never heard of such regulations, violations, and re-educations. Anyway, at least the kids know you're cool. You just made it harder for the next parent. And I am sure you will have to pay a fine. Or maybe go to frosting rehab.

Tori :) said...

You could have got down on all fours and started eating the sprinkles. What would they have said/done then??

No Cool Story said...

You are such a wild woman! 'No parking' parking lot, getting there 5 minutes early and frosting (even if it's light, IT'S still frosting ma'am).
They ought to keep an eye on you and your sassy cock.
You are both trouble.

Jean Knee said...

kayelyn- right on sister, in my house it aint dessert if it don't got any sprinkles

bee- clowns are an evil abomination and will never be discussed on my blog, thanks

brian- any correct spellings on my part are fully unintentional.
ketchup is considered a vegetable on our lunch plan (mandated state wide) I'm guessing sprinkles might be a grain...

Jean Knee said...

Lisa- it is just so bizarre, it is a rural area with almost no crime but I used to teach in a drug traffic and prostitution laden area and our school doors weren't even locked

Jean Knee said...

Tori- sounds good in theory, but then they might accuse moi of dribbling saliva on the pristine carpet, but, upon further relection you are right, what could they have done, next time...

Jean Knee said...

NCS- I really thought I could get away with it, remember I'm bad ashed, I mean no frosting showed at all. I'll learn not to challenge "the man" some day

Heidi said...

Sprinkles? SPRINKLES? Funny, Jean Knee--never had you pegged for an anarchist, and then there you go marching into a mandated frosting-free zone, flinging your sprinkles hither and yon. Power to the People! LOL (and now I am craving a doughnut like CRAZY)

Kimberly said...

Umm...this sprinkle problem was...unexpected?

Ummm.

Good for you for fighting against the system in your own subtle way though! I hope the kids got wired off the sugar and seriously messed up the establishement's routine!

Jean Knee said...

in retrospect, yes sprinkles do get all over but since sprinkled confections are eaten in my home they just blend in with bits of grass, insects and dust. never really noticed them before.hmmmm

Bee said...

Have I ever told you my clown story?

I was walking down a dark alley...

Jean Knee said...

bee-

.

Bee said...

I DARE YOU TO SAY THAT TO MY FACE! :op

Jean Knee said...

bee-
.

Jean Knee said...

bee-
.

Bee said...

.


.


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Bee said...

Can't you open 2 windows??

Bee said...

clowns

Jean Knee said...

you are dispicable,

.

Jean Knee said...

I knew you were over here

.

Bee said...

Okay now I'm going to dinner.

Bee said...

final thought



.

Melissa said...

We now have to check in all food through the office. Except school lunches. But any treats or snacks must be inspected first. I wonder how many treats they confiscate and then eat in the teachers lounge while laughing wildly at the unsuspecting parents?

Jean Knee said...

at least half I'd say

Crap Happy Mama said...

Sprinkles would make a nice name for your rooster.

Mrs. Jo said...

No sprinkles..those demons..I mean who won't allow sprinkles...what is this world coming too..the next thing you know they are going to say no doughnuts at all..then what...

Bee said...

^

Bee said...

<

Special K ~Toni said...

I think that is ridiculous! And I know ridiculous!

Jean Knee said...

amen, sister