Friday, January 18, 2008

Singing Psychic

I was riding in my car. I turned on the radio. A special guest star was on my favorite morning show. Fran, the Singing Psychic. Wow.

According to her website she is a psychic superstar, helping police locate missing children, ghostbuster,clairvoyant, spiritual adviser and more.

When she receives her answers from the spirit world she sings her answers. No American Idol in her future though (even my untrained ears can predict that one).

Of course I couldn't wait to get home and try out my own powers. I'm no psychic but I am sort of psychotic (if I miss my anti-psychotic meds for a few days).


I am ready to become the Singing Psychotic. You say you don't like it, but I know you're a liar.


Let's give it a go. Send me your spiritual questions and I will gaze into my crystal Ball and give you my psychotic answer. Fran has a 95% success rating so I expect to have a 5.7% success rate ( since it's my first time and all)I shall be consulting my crystal ball since I couldn't find my magic eight ball



Link

59 comments:

Bee said...

FIRST!

Bee said...

jean knee, will I grow an inch taller this year?

Bee said...

jean knee, how can I remove the coffee stains from my desk calendar?

Bee said...

jean knee, will my true love, love me forever?

Bee said...

jean knee, will I ever get back to work to prepare for my meeting with OZ?

Jean Knee said...

Short people got no reason, short people got no reason, short people got no reason to groww.

nope no extra inches

Jean Knee said...

shout, shout it out, shout shout shout, shout it out


nest time use a coaster

Jean Knee said...

follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road follow, follow follow follow
follow the yelloe brick road- straight into Oz's office

just hope it's not yellow because his depends leaked

Jean Knee said...

I'm lookin for a true love baby, a true love baby, yea yea yea.
The search is over love was right before my eyes.

quick look at Andy's picture right now..you don't wanna get stuck with Oz or a bat

Bee said...

JEAN KNEE YOU MADE MY DAY!! THAT WAS FREAKIN' HILARIOUS!!

Melissa said...

jean knee - how can I make some extra money?
When will the end of the world come?

Jean Knee said...

You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold'em, know when to walk away, know when to run......

Melissa I see gambling in your future wealth

remember I'm only striving to be 5.7% accurate

Jean Knee said...

Prince thought it was 1999 but he was wrong. I think bread knows

and when the world was through, then one by one the stars would all go out, then you and I would simply fly away.


end of world=no more stars

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Are you singing Bread now? I'll be your backup singer!

"And I would give everything I own. Give up my life, my heart, my home. Just to have you by my side....."

"I want to make it with you. I really think that we can make it gooooood."

Ummm, I don't really want to make it with you, jean knee. Just in case you were concerned.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I would like to ask the psychic why do fools fall in love and why do birds sing so gay.

And why do some farts smell like rotten egg-salad sandwiches when you haven't eaten eggs in weeks.

And where did Solomon Chacon move to so I can go and beat him up and take back my LL Cool J 'Mama Said Knock You Out' CD that he stole from me.

Jean Knee said...

why not? I make a delicious cheese bread

Jean Knee said...

magic eight ball said ask again later

Tori :) said...

Will I ever lose weight?

Do you love me?

Am I a psycho?

Jean Knee said...

Tori--weight

You're once, twice, three times a lady, and I love you

this one keeps competing with I'm half the (wo)man I used to be, half the (wo)man I used to be

This seems to say you will gain and then lose
----------------------------------
I love you three times (see above)
-----------------------------------

I'mm channeling disturbing things about yopur psychosis--it's almost like you have two personalities.

No Cool Story said...

*clap clap clap*
I love you Singing Psychotic!

Jean Knee, will my beloved Father Al ever be President of a country? (any country)

And: What should I have for lunch?

Jean Knee said...

I keep hearing that music in psycho when he's stabbing the girl in the shower, hears what it sounds like
reart,reart reart,reart

does this mean anything to you?

Jean Knee said...

psycho message for Tori, NCS not crazy

Jean Knee said...

Lunch-- NCS
Two all beef patties special sauce cheese pickles onions lettuce on a sesame seed bun.


I'm still checking my AC/DC crystal ball, things are hazy on the Father Al question--are you getting anything on him?

No Cool Story said...

My lunch sound perfect! Thank you Singing Psychotic.

I'm crossing my fingers for father Al.

PS for Tori, NCS not crazy.

No Cool Story said...

Tell the truth: Did Singing Psychotic know I was going to change my hat?

Jean Knee said...

Well. no wonder ,I was checking the rolling stones crystal ball.


You can't always get what you want, you can't always get what you want, but if you try real hard, you'll get what you need.

I think this is a no for our beloved Father Al

Bee said...

JEAN KNEE!! I think you should make the singing psychic a regular on your show because I am busting out of my "trousers" from laughing so hard!!!

Does OZ have the hots for me?

he just gave me a come hither look! ::gag!::

Bee said...

sorry psychotic

Brian o Vretanos said...

O Jean Knee, O Oracle, who will win the Melbourne Open?

Jean Knee said...

Danger in the shape of somethin'
wild
Stranger dressed in black, she's a hungry child
No one knows who she is or what her
name is
I don't know where she came from or what her game is

(Hot child in the
city)
(Hot child in the city)
(Runnin' wild and lookin' pretty)
(Hot child in the
city)

This is what Oz is singing in his head right now, but I can't tell for sure if it's you or Milton.
What's Milton wearing today?

Jean Knee said...

Brian, I am getting a clear picture of a tennis player.

odd, isn't that a horse race?

Jean Knee said...

I'm also getting images of kangaroos, jumping

Dapoppins said...

hehehehe. Okay. Ummmm...will it snow in Washington State anytime soon?

Dancing Psychics of Planet Earth said...

We approve!

Jean Knee said...

Dapoppins

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Millie said...

Oh my, what a fun idea.

Jean Knee, will I be sending you anything in the mail anytime soon?

K- said...

jean knee- will ever get to go a month without a cold? I'm on my 3rd one since December 15th. Ugh.

No Cool Story said...

I love snow!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No Cool Story said...

I
am
waiting
for my
snow!

I have my gloves, hat, scarf, jacket, thermal layers, snow boots and snow pants on.
It's getting a bit warm inside of all these layers BUT the snow is coming!

right?

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I'm not wearing a brassiere this fine Houston Evening. Tell me psychic, will my boobs hang down to my belly button or my knees if I continue in this frivolous braless state?

Jean Knee said...

I hope that someone gets my, I hope that someone gets my, letter in the mailbox (tune of that song by sting)

yes you will be sending me a fabulous 2o cent off coupon for Joy dish washing liquid, now with even more lemon smell


Millie

Jean Knee said...

Kaelyn--plop plop fizz fizz oh what a relief it is.....when all your children are out of school but before you have grand kids you will be cold free

the future looks so bright, you better wear shades

Jean Knee said...

NCS- I could be wrong about the snow, but I really think it is going to snow where you are several more times.....I really feel it

Jean Knee said...

Elastic: do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow, can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier, do your boobs hang low?


get the bra on quick

Kelly Malloy said...

I love love love your crystal ball!

No Cool Story said...

I bet I have lost 5 lbs since I put my snow/thermal gear on, about 3 hours ago.

Wow. It's sure hot in here.
But hey, who cares, right? I'm getting some SNOW!!

Woooohooo!

Carrot Jello said...

I you tubed that lady
let's see...
Will I ever paint my bathroom?

wynne said...

Oh, joy! This looks like so much fun! Some questions, o amazing singing psychotic:

Will I ever get my child potty-trained?

What is making those strange holes in my back yard?

Will I be moving anytime soon?

Jean Knee said...

Goodbye, Old paint, I'm a leaving Cheyenne.

I think you will say goodbye to the old paint when you move--I'm 5.9% sure

Jean Knee said...

wynne-

you've got to fight for the right to pooooootty

child 's just not ready
-----------------------------------

holes in backyard are from a grass mold
-----------------------------------

you will move any second when your son looks like he has to potty--then you'll move fast girl

Bee said...

jean knee, you were the topic of conversation all weekend because I couldn't stop telling people about your amazing abilities!

Everything you predicted for me came true and Milton was wearing all black so it must be her OZ is lusting after. Thank you!

Jean Knee said...

it was my pleasure

No Cool Story said...

I don't care if people laugh and point at me Jean Knee. The snow is a-comin' so I am a-waitin'!

Tracy said...

My question has two parts...I saw that you are a children's party planner and I happen to be in the middle of procratinating my way through my 8 year old daughter's party.
Part 1: Will I ever stop procratinating and get the damn thing done?
Part 2: Will it be a success since I have absolutely no understanding of the 8 year old female mind even though I'm sure I was one once.
I would appreciate your prompt psychotic answer.

Tracy said...

One last question Oh Great Psychotic..will I ever learn to spell procrastinating?
Oh and one more, my almost two year old son bit me in the thigh today. What president, dead or alive, will my bruise look like?

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Hey, my boobs DO hang low!

Have you been hanging around my Hot Elastic XXX website again?

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