I hate shopping. Especially this time of year. People pushing, grabbing, generally just being in the way. Hate it. I'm a hater.
So yesterday I had been shopping awhile (after supervising a field trip where there was a sub instead of the real teacher) and was finally calling it quits at Drug Emporium. I was purchasing Christmas candy and a box of almond roca cookies which I gorged on, reeling in my shame later on the way home.
In the middle of my transaction two boxes of milk bones were placed on the counter in my space.In my space, during my transaction. Normally I wouldn't think a thing about it but I had shopper's rage so I just stood there and didn't move. Just like when the
old lady tried to push me. Yeah, I'm not movin. Finally I look at the person encroaching on my counter space. Oh gack!!! The poor guy has his hands entirely full of those beef jerky treats individually wrapped and some other stuff. Remorse hit me at once, I scooted over and said to put his stuff down. I looked again and it was rock legend Ted Nugent dressed in camouflage and a kewl hat. Oh the horror!! I had just dissed Ned Nugent. I hear he's a nice guy, outspoken of course but a genuinely nice guy. I said sorry I was in a daze buh buh buh (shopper's rage is like being in a daze isn't it?). What if he had been an old man with a cane with just a tentative grip on his depends and denture adhesive? He could have fallen over or something. Thankfully it was a strong guy. Whewww!
I'm sorry Ted. How horribly rude of me. I will now look when someone is behind me and will now only bull headedly not move if it is a teenager plugged into his i-pod while simultaneously text messaging and taking a picture of my "puckered in disdain pursed lips expression" to send over teh internets with a caption like "What? You swallow those horse pill vitamins? I thought they were suppositories. Dang".
Live and Learn
17 comments:
The NUGE????
Dude, he could have shot you and eveything!
I hate shopping too and I'm only halfway done.
I never get to see any celebrities buying milk bones.
The shops are manic at the moment. Where's the credit crunch when you need it???
I haven't heard of this Nugget fellow - he isn't the exploding pop star that Bee was talking about, is he?
I agree with Anndi, he would have shot ya'!
Remember he had that reality show where he hunted people?
I know it was him and he didn't shoot me.
never saw his show but sometimes he writes posts in the local newspaper.
elementry seems very british to me.
sweet. ted nugent. and to think that YOU could have been the chick simultaneously text messaging and taking a picture of him to send over teh internets with a caption like "dude, i almost stiffed ted nugent. look! ted nugent!! omg!".
yeah cept I don't have a cell phone. too bad that would have been great
uugghh crowds always bring me down while shopping...stoppin by to see if you are my SSCSI partner...I will be back
How dare you Jean Knee!
Yeah, how dare you!
For shame Jean Knee!
The horror, oh the infinite horror!
How dare you ma'am!?
How.dare.U.
We dissaprove of this post!
A Wednesday without cock is like a Wednesday without rooster.
I hate to shop too and so I do most of my Christmas shopping online. The down side is that I don't get to deal with shoppers rage or see cool stars. Sigh!
I'm not sure I believe you, jean knee. Where is the proof? I can't believe you didn't have Mr. CDD there with you, handed him over to this milk-bone buying fella, and snapped a picture...
Hmm.
Though I suppose if you were making it up, you'd've made up a story about...uh-oh. Can't remember his name. Mmm...oh! Eddie! And he would've hit on you or kissed you or something...if you had been making this up.
Hmm. Okay, I think I believe you.
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