I hate shopping. Especially this time of year. People pushing, grabbing, generally just being in the way. Hate it. I'm a hater.
So yesterday I had been shopping awhile (after supervising a field trip where there was a sub instead of the real teacher) and was finally calling it quits at Drug Emporium. I was purchasing Christmas candy and a box of almond roca cookies which I gorged on, reeling in my shame later on the way home.
In the middle of my transaction two boxes of milk bones were placed on the counter in my space.In my space, during my transaction. Normally I wouldn't think a thing about it but I had shopper's rage so I just stood there and didn't move. Just like when the
old lady tried to push me. Yeah, I'm not movin. Finally I look at the person encroaching on my counter space. Oh gack!!! The poor guy has his hands entirely full of those beef jerky treats individually wrapped and some other stuff. Remorse hit me at once, I scooted over and said to put his stuff down. I looked again and it was rock legend Ted Nugent dressed in camouflage and a kewl hat. Oh the horror!! I had just dissed Ned Nugent. I hear he's a nice guy, outspoken of course but a genuinely nice guy. I said sorry I was in a daze buh buh buh (shopper's rage is like being in a daze isn't it?). What if he had been an old man with a cane with just a tentative grip on his depends and denture adhesive? He could have fallen over or something. Thankfully it was a strong guy. Whewww!
I'm sorry Ted. How horribly rude of me. I will now look when someone is behind me and will now only bull headedly not move if it is a teenager plugged into his i-pod while simultaneously text messaging and taking a picture of my "puckered in disdain pursed lips expression" to send over teh internets with a caption like "What? You swallow those horse pill vitamins? I thought they were suppositories. Dang".
Live and Learn