Sunday, August 24, 2008

Absence

Something was missing. The missing something was simply gone. Razed to the ground. The only part left was a concrete foundation. Oh my word. The place where I became a woman, that monument dedicated to the end of my innocence was no longer on this earth.

In a flash I was transported back to that special time and place. Eighth grade. A little young you may be thinking, but I was ready. No, more than ready, eager. Breathless with anticipation.
Thom Mc Ann, I'll always remember that name (even if I can't spell it). Oh Thom you had all a girl could ever want.

So nervous, I didn't want my inexperience to show. I didn't want to appear clumsy or unsure of myself. I wanted everything to be perfect. The dress I wore was emerald green with a bias cut skirt. My shoes were misplaced in my rush to get them off.

And then it was happening. It was at last happening to me; to me! Everything slipped into place, I was born for this. My innocent little girl feet wore high heels for the very first time, and oh how glorious they were.. Sleek brown leather, slender wooden heels. Not those abominable chunky wedge shoes of the seventies. These were delicate, womanly, perfect. I took my first steps and my ankle twisted.

62 comments:

Maddy said...

Eight Grade! My son was in six inch red stilletoes from 3 years old.
Cheers

Bee said...

LOL! That was hilarious! You always crack me up!





I really mean that.

wynne said...

So, womanhood is defined by your first pair of high-heels, is it?

What if you got your first pair of high heels and didn't like them, and devoted the rest of your life to wearing flats? What then? Would you be reverting to girlhood?

Why can't womanhood be measured by...oh, I don't know...your first burst of PMS-related rage when you flung your shoe at someone's head?

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Me and Tom McCann liked to do it saddle shoe style back in my younger days.

I didn't need no stinking Ebony&Ivory song talking about how a piano symbolized the union of white and black. Nope. My saddle shoes integrated color nicely.

Brian o vretanos said...

Is nothing sacred? They demolished the building I was born in a few years ago. I bet there's not even a plaque...

I've always wondered how women learn to walk in those shoes, and more to the point why. Now I know. It's because they're too young to know better.

Melissa said...

High heels... I don't remember ever wearing high heels. Wait - that's not true... I had one pair a few years ago. Just about killed myself.
Besides, my hubby isn't very tall. Only about 1 1/2 to 2 inches taller than I am. I don't like being taller than him... very often :)

Stink Bone Jones said...

I don't remember my first experience with them but let's just say that when I do wear them, it's like my first time all over again. Very scary and quite unbalanced.

Dan said...

JA jA! I thought this post was about the first time you had sex....but it wasn't!

You crack me up.

Reflections from the Stone Nest said...

LOL! So Funny. Love your story. Thom McAnn was definitely the shoe place, was it not!

Have a great day,
Kitty

Hey It's Di said...

Did you walk a little stiff after your first time? Did it hurt?

My Alzheimer's has caused me to forget my first (and last) of everything. Bummer...or maybe not!

Bee said...

EEE
LLLLL
EEEEEEEEEE
VVVVVVVVVV
EEEEEEEEEEE
NNNNNNNNN
TTTTTTTTT
HHHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tracy Rambles On And On said...

I can top Maddy's son! My son has been wearing my heal around since 1 1/2!
I can't remember how old I was but I do remember my first pair were a little pair of pumps that had this teeny tiny heel on the back that made no difference except to my ego.

aubreyannie said...

i remember the first time i wore high heels and how all my girlfriends were so jealous. i think i was in 6th grade if i remember correctly. and they were white. but not very high. more like one inch high or maybe even less.

Rhonda Sloan said...

LOL! That was hilarious! You always crack me up!





I really mean that.

P.S. What is up with this canned comment?

P.P.S. Were they yo-yos?

Super Happy Girl said...

I don't remember my first time Jean Knee :(
I ma glad you rememberd yours and you shared with us in Teh Internets!

Millie said...

Oh, OK... it's about SHOES.

Brittany said...

I think I might have been born in heels. I LOVE them!! I wore them to work when I was a merchandising manager and had to climb 8ft ladders. Yeah...I got skilz.
:)Britt

Bee said...

HI JEAN KNEE!!

Lisa Marie said...

that was so funny, I just love it, love your sense of humor..just wonderful, I'm linking gotta come back again...Lisa

Super Happy Girl said...

Umm, so "Absence", make it stop!

Super Happy Girl said...

HI JEAN KNEE!!

Super Happy Girl said...

Marco.

Jean Knee said...

uhhm. Polo?

wait isn't that chicken?

Cupcake said...

Long time no see Jean Knee.
You don't even come to the freezer to visit me no more

:(

Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo said...

Absence?

I'll tell you what's been missing:

ME!!!

Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo said...

Where is the Wordless Wednesday?

Where is the LOVE, jean knee?

Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo said...

I'm so lonely...no one takes pictures of me anymore...*tears roll down beak*

Cupcake said...

Yeah! How come I don't get no Wordless Wednesday?!?

I might be a dead fish in your freezer but by golly I have feelings.

Cupcake said...

Don't you make Mr CDD cry Jean Knee.

Here, use my stiff frozen kleenex.

Cupcake said...

Take pictures of Mr. CDD Jean Knee.


Or I'll eat that tofutti ice cream you keep in here.

Croc said...

Shut it, you stupid chook.

She's just been spending more time with ME. 'cause I'm what a lady wants.

Croc said...

(er, not you, cupcake. I was talking to the bird brain.)

Cupcake said...

Fight!
Fight!

Fowl/Jerky fight!

Cupcake said...

OH NOES! Jean Knee, see what's happening?
It's madness! it's anarchy!

Bring back Wordless Wednesday featuring Mr. CDD so all can go back to normal.

Croc said...

Jean Knee, I was thinkin...why can't I get a Wordless Wednesday?

(I know you love me best.)

Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo said...

LIAR!!!

She likes ME best!

*crowing and shedding feathers*

Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo said...

You stupid overgrown lizard! You fish-bellied scaly stuffed head! JEAN KNEE IS MINE! I WAS HERE FIRST!!

*launches at croc, pecking and crowing*

Cupcake said...

She loves me best.
At night, right before she licks the icicles from the freezer walls, she sings to me:

Oh Cupcake, I love you so
Don't ever leave me Cupcake
Stay in my freezer forever...

And so on.
Then we dance.

Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo said...

*flurry of feathers, scuffling*

Croc said...

You stupid wanker! Ger'off! You're letting the dead fish win!

Cupcake said...

*Hides behind the 2003 snowball*

yeah, she loves me bestest.
Then, sometimes, when no one is watching, she takes me to the zoo.
And we laugh, oh we laugh.

Right Jean Knee, remember how we laughed together and you told me you loved me best?

Cupcake said...

Fight!

FIIIGHT!!

Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo said...

Huh?

Oh, crap.

Is that true, cupcake? You dance?

Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo said...

You zoo?!?!

Cupcake said...

So anyway.
She keeps a picture of me in her wallet.
She does. It's right behind her card for "Lint and dust bunny Craft of the Month Club".

Cupcake said...

We zoo!
We zoo and dance.

Jealous?

Croc said...

Wait--she licks icicles?

Cupcake said...

She even made me a pair of tap dancing shoes.

Max said...

Peep cheep?

Cupcake said...

She sure does.
Then she eats her tofutti ice cream.

Wait, you guys don't zoo and dance with Jean Knee?

Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo said...

No, Max. No icicle-licking until you're 18.

That's final.

Cupcake said...

Tsk tsk.

You have some explaining to do Jean Knee.

Choose!
WHo do you love #1?

Max said...

Peep! Peep cheep cheep peep, peep peep peep-peep cheep cheep, peep cheep CHEEP!

Cupcake said...

I know I'm just a dead fish in her freezer, but see, she didn't keep that walmart meat worm...so I know she does love me!

Jean Knee said...

Oh, Mr CDD, no question!

He is the joy of my existence, the topping on my ice cream, the icicle in my freezer!

Cupcake said...

ALAS!

My life has been nothing but a lie.

:(

Adiu

Rhonda Sloan said...

Cupcake and Mr. CDD need to take a chill pill.

Super Happy Girl said...

polo!

Super Happy Girl said...

Looks like you are going to have to post Wordless Wednesday.
Right? right? right?

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Mad Libs Millie said...

Come and play with us!!!