Something was missing. The missing something was simply gone. Razed to the ground. The only part left was a concrete foundation. Oh my word. The place where I became a woman, that monument dedicated to the end of my innocence was no longer on this earth.
In a flash I was transported back to that special time and place. Eighth grade. A little young you may be thinking, but I was ready. No, more than ready, eager. Breathless with anticipation.
Thom Mc Ann, I'll always remember that name (even if I can't spell it). Oh Thom you had all a girl could ever want.
So nervous, I didn't want my inexperience to show. I didn't want to appear clumsy or unsure of myself. I wanted everything to be perfect. The dress I wore was emerald green with a bias cut skirt. My shoes were misplaced in my rush to get them off.
And then it was happening. It was at last happening to me; to me! Everything slipped into place, I was born for this. My innocent little girl feet wore high heels for the very first time, and oh how glorious they were.. Sleek brown leather, slender wooden heels. Not those abominable chunky wedge shoes of the seventies. These were delicate, womanly, perfect. I took my first steps and my ankle twisted.
62 comments:
Eight Grade! My son was in six inch red stilletoes from 3 years old.
Cheers
LOL! That was hilarious! You always crack me up!
I really mean that.
So, womanhood is defined by your first pair of high-heels, is it?
What if you got your first pair of high heels and didn't like them, and devoted the rest of your life to wearing flats? What then? Would you be reverting to girlhood?
Why can't womanhood be measured by...oh, I don't know...your first burst of PMS-related rage when you flung your shoe at someone's head?
Me and Tom McCann liked to do it saddle shoe style back in my younger days.
I didn't need no stinking Ebony&Ivory song talking about how a piano symbolized the union of white and black. Nope. My saddle shoes integrated color nicely.
Is nothing sacred? They demolished the building I was born in a few years ago. I bet there's not even a plaque...
I've always wondered how women learn to walk in those shoes, and more to the point why. Now I know. It's because they're too young to know better.
High heels... I don't remember ever wearing high heels. Wait - that's not true... I had one pair a few years ago. Just about killed myself.
Besides, my hubby isn't very tall. Only about 1 1/2 to 2 inches taller than I am. I don't like being taller than him... very often :)
I don't remember my first experience with them but let's just say that when I do wear them, it's like my first time all over again. Very scary and quite unbalanced.
JA jA! I thought this post was about the first time you had sex....but it wasn't!
You crack me up.
LOL! So Funny. Love your story. Thom McAnn was definitely the shoe place, was it not!
Have a great day,
Kitty
Did you walk a little stiff after your first time? Did it hurt?
My Alzheimer's has caused me to forget my first (and last) of everything. Bummer...or maybe not!
EEE
LLLLL
EEEEEEEEEE
VVVVVVVVVV
EEEEEEEEEEE
NNNNNNNNN
TTTTTTTTT
HHHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can top Maddy's son! My son has been wearing my heal around since 1 1/2!
I can't remember how old I was but I do remember my first pair were a little pair of pumps that had this teeny tiny heel on the back that made no difference except to my ego.
i remember the first time i wore high heels and how all my girlfriends were so jealous. i think i was in 6th grade if i remember correctly. and they were white. but not very high. more like one inch high or maybe even less.
LOL! That was hilarious! You always crack me up!
I really mean that.
P.S. What is up with this canned comment?
P.P.S. Were they yo-yos?
I don't remember my first time Jean Knee :(
I ma glad you rememberd yours and you shared with us in Teh Internets!
Oh, OK... it's about SHOES.
I think I might have been born in heels. I LOVE them!! I wore them to work when I was a merchandising manager and had to climb 8ft ladders. Yeah...I got skilz.
:)Britt
HI JEAN KNEE!!
that was so funny, I just love it, love your sense of humor..just wonderful, I'm linking gotta come back again...Lisa
Umm, so "Absence", make it stop!
HI JEAN KNEE!!
Marco.
uhhm. Polo?
wait isn't that chicken?
Long time no see Jean Knee.
You don't even come to the freezer to visit me no more
:(
Absence?
I'll tell you what's been missing:
ME!!!
Where is the Wordless Wednesday?
Where is the LOVE, jean knee?
I'm so lonely...no one takes pictures of me anymore...*tears roll down beak*
Yeah! How come I don't get no Wordless Wednesday?!?
I might be a dead fish in your freezer but by golly I have feelings.
Don't you make Mr CDD cry Jean Knee.
Here, use my stiff frozen kleenex.
Take pictures of Mr. CDD Jean Knee.
Or I'll eat that tofutti ice cream you keep in here.
Shut it, you stupid chook.
She's just been spending more time with ME. 'cause I'm what a lady wants.
(er, not you, cupcake. I was talking to the bird brain.)
Fight!
Fight!
Fowl/Jerky fight!
OH NOES! Jean Knee, see what's happening?
It's madness! it's anarchy!
Bring back Wordless Wednesday featuring Mr. CDD so all can go back to normal.
Jean Knee, I was thinkin...why can't I get a Wordless Wednesday?
(I know you love me best.)
LIAR!!!
She likes ME best!
*crowing and shedding feathers*
You stupid overgrown lizard! You fish-bellied scaly stuffed head! JEAN KNEE IS MINE! I WAS HERE FIRST!!
*launches at croc, pecking and crowing*
She loves me best.
At night, right before she licks the icicles from the freezer walls, she sings to me:
Oh Cupcake, I love you so
Don't ever leave me Cupcake
Stay in my freezer forever...
And so on.
Then we dance.
*flurry of feathers, scuffling*
You stupid wanker! Ger'off! You're letting the dead fish win!
*Hides behind the 2003 snowball*
yeah, she loves me bestest.
Then, sometimes, when no one is watching, she takes me to the zoo.
And we laugh, oh we laugh.
Right Jean Knee, remember how we laughed together and you told me you loved me best?
Fight!
FIIIGHT!!
Huh?
Oh, crap.
Is that true, cupcake? You dance?
You zoo?!?!
So anyway.
She keeps a picture of me in her wallet.
She does. It's right behind her card for "Lint and dust bunny Craft of the Month Club".
We zoo!
We zoo and dance.
Jealous?
Wait--she licks icicles?
She even made me a pair of tap dancing shoes.
Peep cheep?
She sure does.
Then she eats her tofutti ice cream.
Wait, you guys don't zoo and dance with Jean Knee?
No, Max. No icicle-licking until you're 18.
That's final.
Tsk tsk.
You have some explaining to do Jean Knee.
Choose!
WHo do you love #1?
Peep! Peep cheep cheep peep, peep peep peep-peep cheep cheep, peep cheep CHEEP!
I know I'm just a dead fish in her freezer, but see, she didn't keep that walmart meat worm...so I know she does love me!
Oh, Mr CDD, no question!
He is the joy of my existence, the topping on my ice cream, the icicle in my freezer!
ALAS!
My life has been nothing but a lie.
:(
Adiu
Cupcake and Mr. CDD need to take a chill pill.
polo!
Looks like you are going to have to post Wordless Wednesday.
Right? right? right?
Excuse me, ma'am, but you look like you have a bit of a pest problem. For only $25.99, we can spray to rid you of those pests! It's a great deal, and our pest spray smells like coffee!
Excuse us, ma'am, but you look like you have a bit of a pest pest controls problem. For only $19.99, we can spray to rid you of those pest pest controls!
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