Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Swim Lessons

Two weeks ago I signed my daughter,Lean, up to take swim lessons from a local teacher who teaches at her house. Things went fine. Lean found a friend, she wasn't too scared etc.The parents sat on a shaded porch lush with flowers, rocking chairs a nice breeze. Everyone was friendly and chatty. I learned all about Barb's grandchildren and husband. Kelly updated us on the current book she was reading every day. Everybody cheered the kids on--it was nice--I looked forward to it every day.

We went on vacation for a week and Lean did okay in the hotel pool but still needed some lessons. So this week we returned. This was a different class on its second week so everyone was new to us. Lean went down to the pool and I went to the porch and said "Hi" to everyone.I was answered with blank stares. Okay, they may be shy. So I sat down and asked the mom next to me the general stuff. Answered with one word answers no eye contact. Okay maybe I smell funny whatever, there's always tomorrow.Well today is tomorrow so we went back. Once again"HI" ; blank stare. I see a mom that was in the last session with us (who was friendly and all before). I say "hi what's new etc. ) nothing but a couple of two word mumbles. No less than four of the moms immediately began to talk on cell phones. Then they had the nerve to speak in another language so I couldn't even eavesdrop. bummer .

Of course it became obvious that they all had rods up their bums. Gone were the fluffy little chit chats to be replaced by stiff anal rods. My word! who ordered those things?Do you purchase them and have them installed or are they something you catch from others? Well I guess the mom from the first session must have caught it somehow during the week we were on vacation. This is alarming to me, will I also catch a stiff rod up my arse from swim lessons? Hope not , but just in case I'm wearing two pairs of underwear and some thick jeans tomorrow. I also will not be bending over.

* If this seems familiar you are just delusional, but whatever I don't want the bloghounds after me.

18 comments:

Bee said...

first!

Bee said...

It seems that rods up butts is all the rage now-a-days!

Bee said...

jean knee, I would also go out and buy a chastiti belt.

Is that how you spell it?

Jean Knee said...

we don't worry about spelling on this blog

Melissa said...

It does seem familiar... very familiara... but I'm too lazy to search your archives to see if this is a complete copy of another post...

Brian o Vretanos said...

They must have felt too intimidated and inferior to talk to you. Either that or they were Welsh. Though I think their rods go all the way through them, and they're red hot...

blog hounds unlimited said...

What are these rods up their bums you speaketh of?

chastiti said...

I'd totally come over and kick them for you Jean Knee!
I'd show them violence!
I'd drink their milkshakes!

Bee said...

Now I want milkshakes.

No Cool Story said...

Me too.

No Cool Story said...

Hey!
How rude. Don't you just hate rude people Jean Knee?

We should all come visit you and talk to ONLY you and not them.
That'll show them.

No Cool Story said...

PS: I have called off the blog hounds.

Right on time too.

Jean Knee said...

that was a close one

B said...

Did this happen again this year? O do I have de ja vous (I'm glad spelling doesn't count on this blog) or am I just in the Twilight Zone? Man, those bitchy people with their bitchy rods up their bitchy bums should be thrown in the pool and drowned! You should start a revolution and open your own swim school. Mr. CDD could be the lifeguard.
Hope your summer is fun so far. :)

Hey It's Di said...

You will need to practice your arse clenching while your daughter practices her back stroke.

Maybe you could make friends if you asked them if you could help them get the rod out of their arse? Just trying to help is all:0

Rhonda said...

I so despise mom politics. WTF? I didn't sign up for that crap just because I had a kid!

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

This could be me. I don't mean to be rude but I roll into Kung-Fu with the kids after working outside in the blistering heat and I don't have a chance to shower first.

I keep my distance. Nobody wants to befriend the Butt Sweat Stench Girl.

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I also keep my distance because I spit when I talk. Truly.