I'm pretty sure the Twitter experiment failed. I can't even be exciting for one sentence. But, eating road kill reminded me of another road kill experience from my youth.
I should probably tell you I grew up in a small town in Texas. Very Small. Population 3,872. There were 27 in my graduating class. Small. And rural. But that doesn't mean it was boring, we made our own fun.
One day Wanda Milson came over and we were trying to think of something fun to do. Luckily I remembered that there was a fresh road kill skunk out on the highway. And I had an empty shoe box. So, yeah we decided to give the boy down the street, Peanut Necessary, (this is his real name because I know he would want me to use it. Wanda is a fake name.) a kewl surprise present. So we go to get the present but it is squished onto the highway, flat and stuck. Plus cars kept rushing all over interrupting our important work. Finally I scraped the thing off the road with the lid of the box and got the surprise safely inside. We delivered it right into Peanut Necessary's yard and ran away like squealing girls.
The phone rang soon afterwards. Peanut yelling "come get this thing outta my yard!" I whispered to Wanda and after a lengthy delay said "I don't know what you are talking about".
And can I just interject here, why would he instantly assume it was me?? I'm not the only one our age living on this particular road. Anyway he kept yelling, I kept whispering, until finally his mom gets on the phone and tells me to come get the skunk outta her yard! yay
We walked down to Peanut's house to retrieve his gift, the ingrate. His mom came outside and clucked her tongue at us saying girls shouldn't be doing things like that da da da. I was frozen totally wordless and looking guilty as hell. Thank god Wanda knew the right things to say "Oh Mrs.Necessary we are so sorry it was just a joke da da.
She made us take the skunk away with us but she never told our parents. Good times.
does this make me a hick?
14 comments:
Drive by Firsting !
Please tell me it's in your freezer....
I do not recall what happened to that skunk, but for a long time afterwards I was afraid of developing rabies
jean knee! I kid you not but the horrible smell of skunk kept me up all night! I finally had to get up and shut the windows and the light a few scented candles perform a dance and then go to bed.
Now I know it was you!
I see you outside my window!
I don't think that you can use being a hick as an excuse for that.
Anyway, who did you run over and eat???
Yes, you're a hick. Sheesh! My excitement was throwing confetti on a neighbor boy's lawn.
Skunk Scraping is an officially recognized sport at the Redneck Olympics in Chatachoochee.
DAN!
I was out not shopping! ARGH!
Ok, so this story has everything:
-"Luckily I remembered that there was a fresh road kill skunk"
-Peanut Necessary
-Da da da
-ingrate Peanut.
I usually don't give grades to posts (if I started doing this, when would it end Jean Knee? People everywhere would be asking me to grade their posts day and night...I just don't have time for all that) BUT this post deserves a greade. Hence:
I grade this post 5 beavers (out of 5)
Congrats!!
We approve of this post.
Ahem.
cluck
cluck
cluck
Yes
Definitely.
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