Thursday, November 15, 2007

Why I Love Consumerism

Exhibit A: Martha Stewart; domestic goddess, mistress of the mundane, corporate genius, ex-con. My love for her is complete. Who but Martha could take a seemingly easy and innocuous household chore and raise it to excruciating levels of perfection with a 100 step direction guide complete with glossy photos?


Only Martha.

Recently I had to cancel my subscription to Martha Stewart Living because they wanted something like $30.00 to renew. Outrageous!!

If I really need to feel inferior for my household and culinary skills all I have to do is open the front door and allow the entire neighborhood to view my hoard and smell the jumbo Stouffer's frozen entree gently simmering in the microwave. All for free, absolutely no charge whatsoever. Take that Martha Stewart Omnimedia Mega Corporation Conglomerate!!

Ho, hum I really miss Martha though.............

Imagine my surprise and delight when an invitation from Martha herself arrived offering a one year subscription for me and a friend for only $15.00! Wow, just by playing hard to get I now am able to get 24 issues for $15.00 instead of the original 12 issues for $30.00. Who could say no to such savings? Not me, that's for sure. I have the need for debasement just the same as any other homemaker, I just need it at a reduced price.

My slick, Super Christmas issue will arrive any day now. Yessss!


Note: yes all you grounded home economists out there I do realize that 3/4 of the magazine is advertising so they should actually pay me to read it, but whatcha gonna do? It's a free market out there.*



* free excludes tax, surcharge, and assorted dubious fees

40 comments:

Melissa said...

I probably should get Martha's magazine... maybe it would inspire me to quit reading blogs and do something in my home... wait... does Martha have a blog??

Bee said...

Can I be your friend that gets the other discount???
Please please please!!

Bee said...

I promise I'll make one or two of the recipes that are in there. Maybe one crafty thing too... maybe.

Bee said...

Does she show you how to make a mashed potatoes without potatoes???

Bee said...

WELL?

Jean Knee said...

I just look at the pics I don't usually try anything out

Brian o Vretanos said...

This is the woman who doesn't have a recipe for Green Bean Casserole, right? You're wasting your money. I should hold out for a free plate, if I were you.

Lisa said...

I haven't paid much attention to Martha for the same reason you mention...I'm never going to put that much effort into anything I do. If I can't cook it in 40 minutes, I'm not cooking it. If I have to make it myself, it's not going to happen. But $15 for 24 issues--you scored!

B said...

I too am a Martha fan, but won't pay the price for her mags because it has way too much advertising for my taste. Hubs says he hates her, 'cause she can do everything - even "man" stuff. I wonder if she is secretly a man?
Anyhow, thanks for the comment about the turkey pic. I wanted to post it with a comment on your Wordless Wednesday, but couldn't figure out how to get a pic on the comment page. Thought she might make a nice date for Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo!

No Cool Story said...

Ah, so you do have a price?

How much for that cock of yours?

No Cool Story said...

I like her magazine. I like looking at the pictures and pretend I could do all that.

No Cool Story said...

I then take scissors to it, remove all the faces and put my own pictures there.

Then I put all these perfected magazines in my Martha shrine.
Wanna see it someday?

Jean Knee said...

b. it might put Mr.CDD over the edge of sanity. He's still recovering from finding uncle Al in the freezer

Jean Knee said...

Lisa- don't you have some homework to over see???

Jean Knee said...

NCS- I thought I was the only one who had a martha shrine.

going to do that picture thing now

Jean Knee said...

Melissa- i hear Martha loves frogs


braised gently and served over rice

No Cool Story said...

Hmmm, frogs!

No Cool Story said...

Where!?!?!

No Cool Story said...

Once I typed "my t1ts" instead of "my tips" on someone's blog.
It was so embarrassing.

Lisa said...

Is my presence bothering you? My kids aren't home for another hour. I need this time for mindless activity. But then there will be homework and studying and too much of it. Just you wait until your kid is older!!!

NCS-Guffaw! t1ts!

Jean Knee said...

naw you ain't bothering me i like to insult and hassle everyone. it was just your turn

Jean Knee said...

NCS- don't make me ban you for all the foul language you have typed here today

(fowl language day is Wednesday)

Jean Knee said...

It's 4:15 guess who has already done her homework?

Lisa said...

Me, too. You can't really read the sarcasm in the comment. But it's there.

What?! Don't even say your kid is done with homework! The tears are welling up in my eyes already.

Annie said...

I started subscribing to Martha's magazine when she went to prison. It was the only way I knew how to show my support.

No Cool Story said...

fowl language day is Wednesday.

I broke th erules of your blog Jean Knee.

:(

I'm sorry, please don't ban me. I need this!

Arugula Queen said...

Yeah but does it cover in explicit detail 1,001 positions.....um, I mean ways to enjoy arugula?

Didn't think so.

Arugula Queen said...

Bee, I can't make mashed potatoes without potatoes but you should taste my mock apple pie made with RITZ crackers!

Is that too dirty to invite another chicky to taste my pie? Maybe I'm moving into American Pie movie territory here...

Arugula Queen said...

Everything tastes better sitting on a RITZ!

Jean Knee said...

okay, all rules are off all bans lifted, except for that evil Thanksgiving celebrating

Jean Knee said...

I may be blind after reading that vulgarity arugula

Bee said...

jean knee The Office Rules!

Bee said...

Was that lame? Sorry, I'll try to do better.

Jean Knee said...

Oh, the horror, the horror!

the Michael and Jan part was funny...................

Kimberly said...

Ummm...now I want a subscription. Darn you.

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Consumerism makes the world go 'round.

Martha is definitely talented.

Rhonda said...

I would pay THEM $15 not to send it to me. I already feel inferior enough as it is!

Senora Marta- Mezzican Cook said...

The Chicken Dances Salsa At Midnight.

Wakes Up As Southwest Chicken With A Tortilla For A Blanket.

Arugula Queen said...

I got this weird letter in the mail with polka dots all over it yesterday. Would you happen to know anything about that? Hmmmm, jean knee?

Kelly Malloy said...

I so wish I could be Martha minus that whole rap sheet thing...