At the Christmas party (which by the way they were allowed to call a Christmas party and not a winter festival- go pagans!) the entire first grade was only allowed to have Christmas cookies and a small bottled water; not medium, not large. I volunteered to bring the water because what if Rudolph wasn't an approved mascot of Christmas. I didn't want to be the one to have to crumble the non approved cookies into the trash can while 6 year olds watched. Not me.
A little investigating uncovered a cruel and demoralizing practice schools have been involved in for decades. That's right, bringing a multitude of sugary, crunchy, yummy, morsels of junk food. My source told me that a couple of years ago one of the teachers got offended because the treats in her classroom were not up to par with the rest of the classes. My word, this could end the world or at the very least traumatize little Johnny who didn't get a snack pack of goldfish crackers like Amy in room 9. I had never even considered the possible unfairness of snacks and party favors. In my thinking some years you get great stuff, some years you get the shaft.
The audacity of my free thinking and free distribution of Little Debbie Oatmeal Pies!
Well, I was very careful selecting just the right sized water. The children lined up and were allowed to choose two cookies each, plus the water. Abundant fun and sugar high joy was felt by all!! I mean who the hell doesn't get excited for two measly cookies and water?
Today I attended the Valentine Party, oh sweet Peter what fun! The children were all marched into the cafeteria where they were given a Big Red Float (soda and ice cream concoction). And that's all she wrote folks. I suppose it is a good idea to get them used to our soon to be instated socialism ,but still.
38 comments:
being first really doesn't matter any more. We are all equal under the new policy. sorry
Nooooooooo oooo oooo
okay
Lean's school scares me jean knee.
But at the same time, now I want a float and it's 25 degrees here. My tummy can get hypothermia if I go get one.
Maybe we should go party with Brian??
they haven't had to start wearing arm bands yet
not yet
coincidence the float was RED? I think not
Brian's party looked fun but I didn't see any refreshments
you gotta have food
I'll bring some mudslides and virgin mudslides for you jean knee.
I am offended by mud Bee.
Hold the mud.
Also, I am allergic to the color yellow. So no one should wera yellow in a 5 mile radius.
Thank you for your cooperation and compliance .
Brain is not here and that makes me sad
:(
Make him be here.
wera = wear
I should get an A for trying.
And a medal.
And a trophy.
I'm disappointed. You're supposed to give equal opportunities for all, and yet here you are posting when I'm asleep. That's timezoneism - I just hope for your sake that the teacher doesn't find out.
And no way does wera = wear, even in Communist Texas.
with the new CHANGE everyone gets to be first and eleventh
yea!
Down with timezoneism!
Down with spellinism!
Equality for all!
Unicorns!
11th!
First!
that's what I'm talkin bout.
you got it!!
Mmmmmm. I can smell the socialism from my backyard!
I am little a refreshing comrades!
I'll be contributing to their Red Beret Fund.
"She wore a red, floppy beret.....the kind you find in a Che Guevara store......."
I got suckered into helping with Valentine parties too. I tried to sneak up there and just let my two oldest daughters be helpers while I sat in the hall studying, but no. Nobody but one other mom showed up in Logan's class to help and I felt guilty.
It was the mom who had the snake party for her daughter a few months ago. You know the one where I accidentally made all sorts of weird sexual snakey remarks to one of the dads. Yeah.
Everybody got one (ONE!) heart-shaped cookie with red sprinkles on it. When I say everybody, I mean everybody. The entire school got the same freakin snack. Oh, and they all got a cup of Minute Maid Pink Lemonade.
This feisty little red-headed boy kept asking for more juice after we had already cleaned up. I had to tell him sorry, that he wasn't being a good little comrade, and that he couldn't have a second cup because then he would have more than his peers and that just wouldn't be fair.
We don't ever want the precious chillens to think that life is unfair, now would we, Jean Knee?
If John Denever were alive today, he'd be singing:
YOU FILL UP MY SENSES......
LIKE A CHUNK OF GOVERNMENT CHEESE.....
I gonna go make myself a float right now.
But I don't want a float. I WANT A COOKIE!
Let's let them warm wrist bands that indicate their sugar allotment for the day. Everybody gets the same.
At the same time, there will be no more blog contests. Everybody gets the award.
And there will only be 1 High-Spped Internet provider....
YIKES! I'm scaring myself!
At my kids schools, you're not allowed to bring in anything homemade anymore.
This hurt me. I was the creative mom!
On year I brought in fruit kabobs with those cookies that have pictures in them baked on to the end of the skewer.
The next year, I found tiny plastic sand buckets and made each kid that dirt pudding thing that has the gummy worms in it.
I was the popular mom. I rocked.
Imagine how hard it was for me to pass out disgusting storemade cookies at Halloween.
Never again.
I have removed myself from the party form.
A red float does not sound good. Unless it had bacon in it.
I bet you look good in red.
Give it a try Jean Knee, i know you'll learn to like it.
I found a heart warming story for us: here.
Awww.
see, I'm showing my ignorance again. I gave Lean a giant helium filled balloon for Valentine's day.
can you believe I would put our safety at risk.
but, uh, our sprinkler system is outside so I don't know
rleieoqwed;wqamd,
how dare you, sir
Sorry ma,am
Yes
I was told there would be candy.
Mmm.
Candy.
I miss you Jean Knee!!!!!!
Come back..
Come back...
Hey, I missed your sisters birthday. Tell her hi for me.
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/02/phonics-has-failed-us.html
So I know you and beth-a-knee are eating cake and partying and such, but you are missed intensely.
Very much.
Mucho.
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