Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Asswipes of America, Lend Me Your Rears

If you've watched TV at all this week (except for you Brian) you have noticed it is green week. Many shows have an ecological propaganda-ish slant. Go green. On Thursday night environmental prophet, Father Al Gore, will be in the line up just like last year. I, like the next person, totally support going green and protecting our environment just as long as it takes no effort or money on my part. Go green!

To celebrate I am introducing you to a new green product: re-useable asswipes (in rainbow colors) yea! Just look at these darling things. Economical and very small and portable. EXCEPT.....what do you do with them after you wipe your ass? I guess you could keep a decorated asswipe can next to your toilet bowl like the diaper pails of old. That could work but what to do on the job? You could carry a ziploc bag in your pocket to keep used asswipes in. But, dang, ziplocks are BAD, they choke ducks or something. And gack what if you dug for change to add to the parking meter and instead you whipped out a bag of used asswipes. uhm, eww And really is there enough bleach anywhere to make you feel they are properly clean?

These might be a bad idea. Let's see what the creator of re-useable asswipes has to say about them. Why use my asswipes:

Great. I am sooo very glad to have this new product. While you're on the link why not check out re-useable tampons with a wet bag. ew


ReformingGeek said...

So what does Al think is wrong with my BIODEGRADABLE toilet paper?

I'm not using a Diva Cup either.


Bee said...

I like that you can customize the prints. Maybe I'll put a picture of Gore on there. Ick!

Millie said...

I was just thinking of this the other day, actually, and being grossed out by it. It was either TP or "feminine napkins".

Good grief. Can you imagine the hepatitis B outbreaks if everyone used these things?

Stacey said...

Ew!! The thought of anyone using those on purpose gives me icky feelings.

Brian o vretanos said...

Well, whatever you do don't wash them - washing is very ungreen - all that water, and detergents. And I hear that some people even heat the water first - shocking!

Tracy Rambles On And On said...

I'm with ReformingGeek, I'm not using a Diva Cup either. It's not every "Diva-esque"

Melissa said...

Um. Ick. ICK. ICK!!!!

Rhonda said...

Ugh. I think I want to barf the chicken fried rice I just ate. :(

Green is the new gay said...

He needs to label them:
Ash wipe
Face wipe
Dish wipe
Window wipe

Imagine if the wipes got mixed up.
Boy, would his face be red!


I only call my most beloved and cherished acquaintances "reusable asswipes."

How bout that, Jean Knee, my favorite little reusable asswipe?