Suicide is Painless

It is so broilingly, miserably hot here. It's been between 104 and 107. Yesterday my dog Penny did a curious thing. She sat in the middle of the yard, under a cloudless sky, in temperatures over 100. Not to mention the fact that she is a black lab. She absorbs any tiny bit of sun instantly. I put her in the shade of our back porch, poor thing must have been delirious.

Later I see she is back in the middle of the yard. I put her back on the porch. Moments later she is back in the sun. I take her some ice to cool off, she won't take it so I open her mouth and shove it in. She let it fall to the ground...thud. What's going on here?

Drew thinks she's trying to commit suicide. At first I just laughed , but then I started to think maybe she is trying to off herself. I mean if you're a dog your options are pretty limited. No access to guns or pills, can't suck on your car's tail pipe. I suppose you could drown in your dog bowl if there's enough water. Why else would she keep doing such a dumb ass thing?

I remember my brother's Oscar jumped out of his bowl and dried out on the floor. And what about the countless birds and squirrels that throw themselves into my car when they see me coming. Mere accidents or something else? It could be all part of the animal conspiracy but does that really make sense?

As far as I know I haven't caused any humans to try and buy the farm.