Thursday, April 9, 2009

Penny VS. the Kong



Penny has been looking a little glum lately. She's bored. The companionship of a half witted dalmatian can only take you so far.

I purchased her the latest in dog toy technology, the
KONG. Yes it is somewhat phallic, I agree. The idea is to put a dog treat inside the opening of the KONG while leaving some to protrude. Give it to your dog and they will be occupied for hours trying to get the treat. Instant fun!




WTF??WTF??WTF??WTF??WTF??WTF??

I gave it to her and she let it fall to the ground in her usual "I can't be bothered with such droll dog type things" attitude. Then she caught the scent of liver, delicious quivering liver, be still my heart. She got a nip of the liver quiver and she was hooked. She did try for a very long time to get the treat, trying new positions, new tactics. If I had filmed it it would have rivaled Bee's winter tale. Eventually her attention flagged for a moment and Polka Dot, Dalmatian of doom, swooshed it, grabbed it and ran exactly 30 feet away. Penny is confined by a thirty foot leash and Polka knows the boundaries down to the inch. Of course then he taunted her with it, the beast. What? Yes I could have purchased him one as well but those things are $12.95 plus the treats. I had to make sure they would both use it. Actually it was more fun watching the taunting. Finally Drew felt bad and broke the treat down so they could get it.

thirty feet away, thirty feet away ,thirty feet away


Such fun. Of course it got me thinking about others who might have hours of fun trying to get their treat of choice out of a KONG. Put some "get out of paying taxes free" cards in Kongs and pass them around a meeting of Obama's cabinet members. Hours of silence and no time to think up additional ways to socialize our free market ways.




Some would be easy: put some Cabury mini eggs in mine and a good heap of green bean casserole in Brian's.




Give me some of your ideas. A cigarette in Obama's, a J.Crew catalogue in Michele's, anti bacterial soap in Howie Mandell's? You can even be crude if you are so inclined.


29 comments:

Melissa said...

Fill mine with Snickers and I'm there! :)
We had something like that for our dogs... but I bought a cheap knock-off because I didn't want to spend the $13. They got the treats out in about 2 minutes the first time. After that they could get it out in 30 seconds or less...
Wait... am I first?

Brian o vretanos said...

It would only be fun for humans if you tied their hands up, and then you're into the realms of bondage, and I can't begin to imagine what a sadomasochist might like in his or her Kong. Razor blades, perhaps?

It's nowhere near big enough to hold a decent portion of GBC, but Pringles would probably fit quite well.

Millie said...

Fill mine with Binge Saturdays.

ReformingGeek said...

Isn't it fun to watch animals mess with each other?

Put little black children in Angelina and Madonna's toys but I'll take chips and salsa!

Bee said...

Oh jean knee you are a genius!! I will go post haste… well maybe Saturday, to go buy a couple of those for my pooches.

When I saw “Kong” I did erm think of something else.

For Andy, put his headphones or his keypad in there and watch him tear the thing apart with his teeth.

Tracys Ramblings said...

Jean Knee,
First and most importantly, I have to apologize to you for something.
See, last year when you kept talking about your addiction to the mini-eggs, I laughed and thought "Silly Jean Knee! There's no way they can take all of the goodness that comes in a regular sized Cadbury Egg and squish it into a mini version.
But two weeks ago, the store I was at were out of regular sized eggs and, because I needed my fix, I was forced to buy three packages of the minis.
I see it now, Jean Knee.
You are so very wise.

Tracys Ramblings said...

Second order of business, I do believe that Dan said that he wanted you to send me one of the Cocksuckers that he won.
I've been waiting by my mailbox every day since and the mailman has started carrying tissues in his truck just for me because I start to cry when I see no box.
I WANT MY COCKSUCKER!

Tracys Ramblings said...

And last, I would like my "Kong" filled with M&Ms please.
For some reason, I'm on an M&M kick this week.
Also, they will fall out of the hole easily and that's a bonus because I am lazy.
Or, maybe, and this is just a thought off of the top of my head here, you could send me my Kong filled with my COCKSUCKER that Dan said I could have.

Tracys Ramblings said...

Wait, I just read your comments and I have to ask one more question.
Oh shoot, hang on, I don't want to be on an odd number.

Tracys Ramblings said...

Did anyone else know that Brian was in to bondage?
It's always the smart, quiet types who eat green bean casserole during the day who are in to that sort of thing.
Not that there's anything wrong with it Brian dear.

Dan said...

put a cocksucker in Tracy's Kong.

Jean Knee said...

Melissa you are indeed first. I'll do it for ya


FIRST!!!

Jean Knee said...

so Brian, whaz up with your sado bondage type inklings?

Jean Knee said...

Millie, mmm hmmm

it's kin to the see food diet

Jean Knee said...

REF Geek

they would fight to the death if it were a real non American black child. Finger nails and hair flyin

poor Brad

Jean Knee said...

Bee the Kong is great--don't get generic though.

did you ever see that goat se thing? I'm sure I saw the Kong there

Jean Knee said...

Tracy, I have not had a single package of the mini eggs this year cuz I'm afraid of losing control.

also my mass is too big for any more growth

Jean Knee said...

Dan, there will be a slight delay on the cocksuckers cuz I'm out of them and can't make more till my kid goes back to school on Tues. even then I'll probably be too lazy

Jean Knee said...

wow, when I answer my comments I look so popular

19

Anonymous said...

you know what's interesting, well almost interesting?

when middle aged house wives put up suggestive pictures and pretend they don't dream about themm every night. so sad

BACON said...

shove it , anonymous

Brian o vretanos said...

I wouldn't even know how to use a pair of handcuffs...

Jean Knee said...

something tells me you'd learn pretty quick

Jean Knee said...

I sounded so Texan just now

I'm Related To Chester said...

I like anything that relates to doggie-style.

That should be reward enough.

Anonymous said...

snorrt

Rhonda said...

Panties inside Britney's, Paris', Lindsey's ....

No Cool Story said...

"I purchased her the latest in dog toy technology"
AH! Now I feel like a terrible dog owner!!

No Cool Story said...

Ice cream?
A million dollars?
A kong inside of it??