Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Adventure at Walmart

Wow. There are plenty of women's clothes here and, yes, George is a popular brand. Hmm. they're not bad, affordable. Wait, I'd still have to try them on. Or I could just purchase them and return the rejects. Naaaaa. Then I'd have to come back and stand in line.. Best to keep moving.

Minutes later I plop my wares on the conveyor belt: candy bar, Halloween banner, cupcake picks, corn dogs, soda. Say hi to cashier in a totally bland, non emotion showing tone. While watching my purchases add up I notice corn dogs on there twice. I say, blandly again, "Did you scan the corn dogs twice?" The cashier AKA Pollyanna Deathstar lilts " I sure did!!! :) :)
and I took one off !!! :) :)

(aren't you just so adorable, I could eat you up! Yes I could!! With a side of slaw and an extra sharp toothpick!! )

I stand there bland as oatmeal. Pollyanna Deathstar: " I'm sooo sorry you're having a bad day!!! :( Look here at the receipt, I scanned the corn dogs twice and then I took one off!! :)
I just look at her totally benign and non emotional again. Say nothing whatsoever.
Pollyanna Deathstar: "Ohhhh, I hope your day gets better !!! :)

I know I should have told her to Bite Me but I was stunned. I tell you she was good, really good. Put me in my place and made me bitter all by using her patented, sugar coated, Pollyanna Deathstar monologue. It's a gift.

Here is a cinquain I wrote in her honor:

Sweet, sincere,
Grinning, leering, deceiving,
Makes me want to heave,


No Cool Story said...

Who loves ya?!

No Cool Story said...

I hope your day gets better !!! :)

-Pollyanna Deathstar

No Cool Story said...


That's how I like to start my morning Jean Knee


No Cool Story said...

I want to know more about the wooden arrows for children.

Jean Knee said...

The wooden arrow deal fell through, they wanted high taxes for them--whatever

That was my very first cinquain
could you tell?

No Cool Story said...

"Cinquain refers in general to any stanza or short poem of five lines"

Hmmm, interesting.

Sorry about the deal not happening this time. You are one talented woman Jean Knee.

Brian o vretanos said...

I wonder what her nickname for you was ;-)

I never try clothes on - I suppose it's easier for men than women. I just buy my size, then as time goes on and they get tight I start buying the next size up.

Jean Knee said...

I'm sure my nickname was:
Bitter Middle Aged Lady

and on top of all that? It was pouring rain, no umbrella

Jean Knee said...

I bet she didn't write me a cinquain though


Klin said...

I have plastic toothpicks with TWO sharp ends for stabbing.

The better to make you scream with, my dear.

You brought a smile to my face after a tiring day.

Bee said...

Since nobody claimed it... FIRST!!


Bee said...

if I have a woman cashier I'm all business. If I have a male cashier and is good looking I'm all "Welllll hellooooo there! ::wink::" Since it's usually women and ugly guys I just want to pay grab my cake and get the hell outta there! Don't talk to me about the weather!

Bee said...

jean knee, your shoes, they be funny.

No Cool Story said...

Where you in front of me at Wa-mart yesterday?
The lady in front got her stuff scanned twice, the cashier told her he took one off.

Why didn;t you say hi to me Jean Knee :(
And Pollyanna is a guy. SO it should be Pollyanno.


Jean Knee said...

always happy to make someone smile over my debasement-anytime yo

Jean Knee said...

what up wit da shoes?

Jean Knee said...


I think it must be a Walmart practice to scan twice- commie cheaters

Jean Knee said...

Pollyanna may have been a cross dresser, I just don't know

aubrey said...

does this mean you don't really want my autograph?


Obviously Senorita Pollyanna needs to be introduced to the heartbreak of psoriasis.


You should have transformed into Shirley Temple Millennium Falcon and knocked her down.

Anndi said...

She probably farts sparkles too...

Dan said...

LOL! That was hilarious! You always crack me up!

I really mean that.

Tracy said...

I want to go shopping with you. Everytime I go to Walmart, I get the unhappy, elderly so slow, sick and coughing and sneezing all over my things cashier who doesn't even talk to me to tell me the total.
I kind of like the no talking part but the rest I could do without.

Well, Jean Knee, I sure hope your day gets better! (said in my best Pollyanna Deathstar voice)

Jean Knee said...

damn it Tracy! you forgot the smiley faces

now my day is ruined

No Cool Story said...


Melissa said...

What is it with the employees at WalMart? I had a gal look at every item I bought. She'd pick it up, turn it over, make a comment "Wow - that's a great color for those shoes" or "Gee, I didn't know we carried Kool-Aid" and then she'd scan it and comment on the price. I wanted to scream by the time all was said and done...

Hey It's Di said...

That was a very touching Cinquain. I don't think I've ever experienced a "Pollyanna" at our local Walmart. They are usually toothless, greasey, hateful beotches who HATE that they are working for next to nothing:/

Millie said...

*about to make a sweeping generalization*

Pretty much all Wal-Mart employees are retarded. So don't take it personally.

I had a checker completely ignore me today. She talked to the person in line ahead of me and behind me (while I was standing there paying), but to me... no. I guess I was pretty hideous this morning. But then, according to her nametag, she had been employed by this store since 1973, so I figured she had bigger problems in her life than just being impolite and fat.