How Could You Be Any More Famous Than You Already Are?

You may ask me. And I will answer, " by being featured in the Better Homes and Gardens Holiday Crafts issue. " Twice. Two times. Two projects. Dos. Hey do you like those Dos Equis commercials or what?

Anyway, you open the mag and there is my star tag on the second page of the table of contents. Applause.

And then in the middle of the mag there it is again. Why so popular you may ask? I have no

idea. In the past two years I have sold a total of one (1) set of star tags in my shop. I know.

Then around page 82 there are my Christmas treat cups. I also sold only one (1) order of these but still, they were only listed one year.

Of course there was one page that bore a completely unflattering photo of me and some boring bio blah, blah. I sent them an okay photo of myself...they lost it. I sent another okay photo of myself, they lost it. So I was forced at the last minute to take a horrible photo of myself without makeup and unstyled hair. They promised they would air brush it. Liars .I'm not including that page you'll have to buy it to see me. You know you wanna see.

I'm kidding about it like it was no big deal but it is really cool to see your stuff in a mag. A famous mag. ..... The only mag you'll ever buy again. ......

That's right.



Thank you Meredith publishing, I was only kidding about the air brushing but hey, you could have tried something :)

Want to Hear Something Funny?

As you know, I am a hard core bad ass on this blog. (who just laughed? Bee!) But on my craft blog I'm always sweet and placid. Well, a crafter accidentally got on this blog and started following me. I thought about heading her over to my craft blog but said "what the hey?"
The day I put up those pictures of humans kissing animals she flounced and stopped following me. ha

You know this sounded much more interesting in my head. Give me a break people, I'm a housewife.



Coming soon: Another foreign object story ---with photos
Another I'm famous story

The Spa Experience

A few years ago I went to a spa. I normally would not spend the huge amount of money to go to one but it was a job perk freebie, so I went. It was pretty awesome. You go in and kind of just hang around in these big fluffy robes sipping lemon water and chai chi tea infusions. It smells wonderful, you relax & listen to soothing music. Later on get a massage, a manicure, soak in a hot tub etc..... wow

Well today I almost got to relive my spa experience. I went for a mammogram because two of my doctors insisted it was necessary. yep. soo

I walked into the office to hear soothing music tinkling in the background. There was a huge bubbling fountain and beautiful wall hangings all over. And I sat in an area alone. Just like at the spa. I was called into another room where I changed into a fluffy robe and ended up in another lovely waiting area with soothing music. Ahhhh this is the life isn't i? Everything was spotlessly clean and lovely looking. Then I spied a table that had a huge container of lemon infused water with real sliced lemons in it. And right next to it a fancy espresso machine with every kind of cafe latte, chai tea mixes you could ever imagine. Far too soon it was time for my mammogram so I took a package of hot chocolate latte extreme with me to try at home later.

It was over quickly and I was on my way. And to tell you the truth? I really was happier and more relaxed. I felt like a person and not an appointment. If only all medical appointments could be this nice.

And then shortly after I left I remembered how the AMA now recommends mammograms starting at age 50. A decade later than previously suggested. I'm 45. Not quite there yet. Now I'm wondering if my insurance will even cover any of the appointment. If it's not recommended by the AMA they don't have to approve it no matter how many doctors told me to do it. Funny how this just came about after health care was passed. Probably by next month the AMA will have decided that pap smears aren't needed yearly, no one needs their cholesterol checked and old people should crawl into the corner never to be heard from again.

I guess in truth my spa mammogram will cost about 10 times as much as a regular spa visit.

I hate Obama and his horrid health care

The Horror Continues.................

I think the most romantic aspect of these images is how they all have their eyes closed.

Adventure With Tween

Today I was relaying some tidbit of parental wisdom to my daughter Lean, to which she replied "Talk to the hand".
mmkay
I really don't go for all than tween "whatever" type stuff.
So I told her not to even try that "talk to the hand" stuff with me.

To which she turned around and replied "Talk to the booty 'cuz the hand's off duty"

What do you even say after something like that?

I've Been Traumatized Once Again

What ever happened to good manners? They seem to be missing almost every place I go.
I went out to dinner tonight, was enjoying myself quite a bit when I spied her. The lady across from me was picking her teeth with one of those toothpick/dental floss doohickies. It wasn't just a simple little surreptitious ping with the pick. Oh no. Ms. Dental hygiene was shoving the floss part between her teeth, sawing vigorously and then flicking out particles. So disgusting but I couldn't stop watching her. It's like how your eyes are drawn to really gaggy things like roadkill, CSI, or staring at an unsightly wart on another person's face.

I kept looking. And she did not disappoint, no she did not. Saw, saw, saw flick. Saw, saw, saw flick. This went on for some time. When the bill came she let the toothpick/floss thing hang out of her mouth like a hillbilly chewing on a straw. It just dangled there for the waitress and the whole place to see. Hang, hang ,hang hang

I hate people

You Know What's Gross?

Looking down to find two flies mating on your knee. So....very....gross...