Mustachioed Women; Why?

I have always wondered about women with mustaches. Not why do you have one, rather why don't you remove it? You shave your legs, pluck your eyebrows, why leave that mustache?

It's not a big area, the upper lip, so why not rid yourself of your furry little foe. Pluck it, wax it , bleach it, shave it. Have electrolysis, have it threaded, grab some nair. I know, it might grow back thicker.
So? It's a mustache for crying out loud, you are a woman. If it grows back thicker then re pluck it, re wax it, re bleach it, re shave it. Just like you do with your legs and eyebrows. But Jean Knee would you rather have a thin mustache or risk a thick mustache? None. It's a mustache for crying out loud, you are a woman.

I myself have a faint mustache and one goat hair on my chin. I remove them. They should not be there. I see women with long goat hairs on their chins, why do they just leave them there?
I want to know why?

Wordless Wednesday: Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo Finds a Foreign Object in His Feed

Critic's Corner:Restaurant Reviews

The following restaurants have been rated by the Proprietor's response to foreign objects being found in the food. The names were changed to protect the innocent (Jean Knee)from prosecution.

I'm sure that all restaurants have had one of those"entree plus" experiences. What interests me most is what occurs after alien matter is discovered in the chow. Here are a few favorites that I've personally experienced.

The Black Pot Restaurant

Drew and I had the breakfast buffet as a Sunday Treat. There was everything on that buffet, and I mean everything. Drew quickly piled his plate and began noshing. I lifted a bite of scrambled egg only to discover an entire, though dead, cricket. mmmm We showed our waitress, they checked the eggs and found more crickets. We told all the tables around us what I found but they continued eating. Apparently cricket eating was not frowned upon at The Black Pot. The manager was summoned, we were given our breakfast free, gee thanks.
Response time was a bit slow, actions were appropriate to earn them a nine,9.

1492 Restaurant
Drew, Lean,me,Drew's important customers. 1492 is a very expensive posh restaurant so you assume things will be perfect. The place was full of flies buzzing all around, everywhere. One dove straight into Lean's chocolate milk. We showed the waiter, he took it away and said, " No extra charge". Nothing was done at all. Our bill was around $500.00 and they did nothing at all! Don't these people realize Columbus would not have stood for such shoddy fly deliberation?
They don't even get a rating but the joke's on them they are out of business now.

The Milton Hotel Restaurant

Once again We are having breakfast. We order, everything is lovely, the service is awesome. We get our food and Drew discovers a gigantic hair on his bacon. This thing was huge and slightly wavy eww. I couldn't eat bacon for weeks thinking about how that disgusting hair got on there.eww. The waiter was summoned and we were given our breakfast free, the staff looked convincingly horrified. They get a perfect ten for their response time and wrap up.

The Avocado Garden Restaurant

This is slightly different but I still feel like ranting so I'm including it. So while we are celebrating my niece getting her driver's license the waitress drops a bottle of beer on the table, it empties entirely into my lap. I screech, she picks it up, gets another beer and acts like nothing happened.
Of course I tell her, "you poured a beer in my lap" , "yes, yes I'm so sorry" she continues on. Me again, "you poured a beer in my lap" She disappears then comes back and says they will pay for any dry cleaning. "I'm wearing jeans, I don't dry clean jeans. You poured a beer in my lap" The manager is summoned and restates that they will pay my dry cleaning bill. WTF is that about, I have a lap full of beer and not even an apology or free dessert?
They get a -4 rating.

Yes, I know exactly what you are thinking. Why can't I ever find a 2 karat diamond in my Asian stir fry? You just can't.

Ugly

"U-G-L-Y you ain't got no alibi, you ugly, yeah yeah, you ugly!"

This cheer could be heard at every Podunk Longhorn football game when I was in school. Team spirit; you got it. Sportsmanship; not so much. Yelling that your opponent is ugly was just about as fun as fun could get, cheer wise anyway.

So, what's wrong with being ugly? Oh groan, is this post going to point us in a politically correct direction? How bout visually challenged? Those of lesser beauty?

My local grocery store not only accepts the Ugli, they celebrate it. Then charge you $2.49 a pound for it. What price beauty...... yeah





If you squint you can read the ugli sticker


Look at this display of Ugli fruit. Doesn't it look, well, Ugli? No longer will the oppressed Ugli fruit be pushed into a corner of the produce section. Now Ugli fruit has a large, prominent end cap position where it has been lovingly stacked for display. Wow.


Join me in celebrating the triumph of the Ugli fruit! Hooray Ugli fruit! You go fruit!


What does it taste like? I have no idea, I don't buy Ugli fruit.


Dear Daphne & Celeste: we were saying that cheer before you were even born so don't try to go all copyright crazy on me.

Wordless Getbentday: Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo Returns From Parenting Classes

is that a clip on tie?

Newer and Sweeter and Prettier

Okay, okay Lisa is tired of seeing those ugly toads and maybe you are too but, I have no stories to share with you dear friends. Instead I will let you over dose on sweet, girlie deliciousness and hope you don't get "My word, Johnny! Not more pink" syndrome.

April Fool

Here's a funny April Fool Joke: "Is Your Refrigerator Running?" Ans: yes "Well you better catch it before it gets away!"

Oh snort, ha ha hooo. That one always cracks me up.

Except this morning water was discovered on the floor near the refrigerator so here's how the joke went:

" Is your refrigerator running?" ans: efff no! " get ready to get the shaft by GE, have a good day, loser"

The fridge is a whirlpool, how screwed do you think I'll get? I need a cigarette.

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Fascinating Discovery: Yes serendipity showed me that even minor household emergencies can yield gold. As I searched for the ice chest to put our rapidly rotting food into, I found these Mummified toads, right inside the cooler. Magnificent specimens, one even rigor mortised in a jumping pose. Sweet.

They go well with my mummified turtle and scorpion don't you think? (scorpion was a pet, he mummified on his own. Turtle was found partially dried and then buried in salt, in a hot garage for two years, but alas he still has a slight odor. The toads are perfect- the non-jumping one rattles if you shake him just like a maraca)