My daughter attends a progressive thinking and politically active school. It's awesome. I mean they are really getting them ready for this new world of change.
At the Christmas party (which by the way they were allowed to call a Christmas party and not a winter festival- go pagans!) the entire first grade was only allowed to have Christmas cookies and a small bottled water; not medium, not large. I volunteered to bring the water because what if Rudolph wasn't an approved mascot of Christmas. I didn't want to be the one to have to crumble the non approved cookies into the trash can while 6 year olds watched. Not me.
A little investigating uncovered a cruel and demoralizing practice schools have been involved in for decades. That's right, bringing a multitude of sugary, crunchy, yummy, morsels of junk food. My source told me that a couple of years ago one of the teachers got offended because the treats in her classroom were not up to par with the rest of the classes. My word, this could end the world or at the very least traumatize little Johnny who didn't get a snack pack of goldfish crackers like Amy in room 9. I had never even considered the possible unfairness of snacks and party favors. In my thinking some years you get great stuff, some years you get the shaft.
The audacity of my free thinking and free distribution of Little Debbie Oatmeal Pies!
Well, I was very careful selecting just the right sized water. The children lined up and were allowed to choose two cookies each, plus the water. Abundant fun and sugar high joy was felt by all!! I mean who the hell doesn't get excited for two measly cookies and water?
Today I attended the Valentine Party, oh sweet Peter what fun! The children were all marched into the cafeteria where they were given a Big Red Float (soda and ice cream concoction). And that's all she wrote folks. I suppose it is a good idea to get them used to our soon to be instated socialism ,but still.
Do you see that? I found it hidden underneath Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo's bed. I didn't want to make too big a deal out of it by positively reinforcing such an evil, evil concept.I decided to do what any good parent would do and throw the vile publication out without mentioning it.
