I Want a New Pet

This is a song that should be sung to the tune of "I want a new drug" by Elastic's favorite band Huey Lewis and the News.

I want a new pet,
one that won't jump the fence.
One that won't beat Polka Dot up,
or make him wince.

I want a new pet,
not one from the pound.
one that won't scratch the door all day,
or dig holes in the ground.

I want a new pet,
one who can swim.
One who's not always comatose,
one who moves his fin.

A new pet arrived for me. Of course I'm a little uneasy since my old pets require enormous amounts of time and patience. But..This one promises to be hassel free.
Needs no training, is flea free, no barking, no digging,no fence hopping, and no fighting. Swweeet!

That's right, I'm going to grow a pet. Take a look.





Awesome, huh? It grows in size by 600%. (Sounds like by butt since high school).
Now, the directions say to put the pet in a container of water and it will grow completely( 600% remember!) in ten days. Hmmmmm

I think I'll keep a pictorial log of my pet's growth so you math nerds can graph it on a super kewl graph! Fabulous!


Here is the before shot





Here is the pet in the water




Grow a pet update and photo tomorrow. Can't wait!

Wordless Wednesday: Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo Supports Father Al By Playing More Cowbell

more cowbell clicky

Salute to Al Gore; Finally, the Recognition Father Al Deserves

I believe political humorist NCS has summed it all up for us with her awe inspiring
poster highlighting Father Al's accomplishments.
see more here



David Letterman's
Top Ten Messages On Al Gore's Answering Machine
Top Ten



10. "Hi, Mandy from The Cheesecake Factory. You left your credit card"

9. "George W. Bush here. Congratulations on your Latin Grammy"

8. "It's Larry from Toyota. This global warming paranoia is great for business"

7. "Put on Letterman. Some idiot is going to jump over interns"

6. "This is Hillary. If you run for president, I'll snap your neck"

5. "It's Jets coach Eric Mangini. Can you play quarterback?"

4. "Ann Coulter here. Any way we can blame global warming on the Jews?"

3. "I'm calling from the EPA. Turns out there is no global warming; You're just sweating because you're getting fat"

2. "This is Jimmy Carter. Want to use our medals to score some babes?"

1. "It's Cheney. Watch your back, Jack"



Mr. Gore and his wife Tipper spoke with United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon at the UN Climate Change Gathering



"No, it's Lock box, L-O-C-K-B-O-X". .... jean knee


Favorite Al Gore Quotes

A zebra does not change its spots.
Al Gore

I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.
Al Gore

I invented the internet.
Al Gore

I think George W. Bush has a warm, engaging personality. But, you know, the presidency is more than just a popularity contest.
Al Gore

Our democracy, our constitutional framework is really a kind of software for harnessing the creativity and political imagination for all of our people. The American democratic system was an early political version of Napster.
Al Gore


Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
Al Gore


We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made.
Al Gore

Who are these people? (To a tour guide at Monticello after seeing busts of George Washington and Ben Franklin).
Al Gore

Read

okay, I have nothing to blog about so instead I'm gonna tell you what book I'm reading right now. Ready.....The Girl's Guide To Hunting And Fishing by: Melissa Bank....I've read it before but don't remember very much of it so it's almost like new.

Next book I want to read:....Twilight...because everyone I know has read it
One of my crafty Halloween swap partners has a video and post about it on her blog.
check it out here

Cat Scratch Fever

>



What, you were expecting wild man, Ted Nugent? Nah, he's off in the woods killing something. Now we, on the other hand, have another partaaaaaay!

Black Cat Party Table


Cat shaped plates with napkin bow tie


Treat bag craft

Cat centerpiece and candy holder




winner of the ugliest cat contest, unretouched photo



And for even more fun here's a top nine list of women who shouldn't dress as cat woman for Halloween (I could only think of nine, they are in random order)
9. Rosie O'Donnell: the mask just doesn't leave enough room for her overly developed, big mouth

8. Britney Spears; costume has no pockets to hold her "goodies"

7. Hillary Clinton; Doesn't want Bill to get any "tail" if it's attached to her

6. Bee; you have to wear matching shoes to be cat woman

5. Condoleeza Rice; the costume isn't white enough

4. Elasticwaistbandlady; it's not as much fun as peeing on bags

3. Martha Stewart; it's NOT a good thing

2. Michael Jackson; must have an actual nose to keep the mask on

1. Jean Knee; because cat woman is not classified as "other"

0. Austin Powers; He's a man, baby!

-1. Penny; clashes with her petsafe collar

Scary Thing

This is an actual picture of Jean Knee. The question is...Do you think Jean Knee is a man or a woman?

take the poll if you would

Public Service Announcement Brought To You By The NRA

Get a gun before a clown gets you



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