Fish Out Of Water

Ever have that eerie feeling that you're not really real. You're not really you but an impostor? And then everyone keeps waving at you and calling you Claude?

Happened to me today. Of course I was wearing a fish costume with the name Claude emblazoned across the front, but still.

Today I was Claude the fish, mascot and candy bestower of a local hospital. There's nothing I like better than dressing up strangely and giving out candy, baby! To help my friend Jean-Uh (respiratory therapist) celebrate week of the lung, I became a fish, an animal lacking lungs, and gave out candy to all who passed me by.
I danced, I jumped, I shook my boo-tay and waved my fins off. And, best of all I could practice all my smooth Napolean Dynamite moves and in the fish suit they looked kewl. It was big time fun and I didn't commit too many faux pas either. I was warned to behave and not 'cuss' beforehand. Even though it was hot as Hades in there I kept my expletives to myself.

Later I was escorted around to meet Jean-Uh's new work friends (she just started a new job). I jokingly asked her boss for the $10.50 an hour I was promised for being the fish. He became flustered and nearly fainted. Luckily Jean-Uh was there to tell him I was joking. Some people are really just too serious, don't you think?

One of her coworkers showed me a thong (of the women's underwear variety) that she had received as a gift from her secret friend. I gladly showed her how she could use it as a sling shot to hurl rocks at things and also have a fancy surgical mask. She demonstrated for us. Ha Ha, she was cool. The others kind of dead pan stared. I might not be invited back.


But, the important thing to remember here is I did not cuss.

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PS: left out the part where some lady came up to me said,"Rodney, is that you?" and punched me in the stomach. dumb mass, I had a name on my chest