Budget Shrink

Lately I've been thinking I might need some psychological help. I don't hear voices or eat my toe jam on toast or anything that creepy. I have been a bit edgy around the elderly for a while now. I'm not entirely sure if it's them or me who is at fault (probably the elderly you know how they love to drive you tee totally insane with their inane stories about their cats. )

Today I was sent a sign. From above you may wonder? No, from Brian. He had this link to an electronic shrink program type thing.
Eliza So I decide to have a go at it. Here is a transcript from our session:

>Hello,I am Eliza.
*Hello, I am Jean Knee.
>Did you come to me because you are Jean Knee?
*No, what kind of stupid ass thing is that to ask?
>Why do you ask?
*I do not know
>Tell me more...What is it you really want to know?
* Is it morally worse to be mean to the elderly because of their decreased mental capacity?
>Can you elaborate on that?
*No
>You are being a bit negative.
* You are being a bit of an ass yourself.
>Perhaps you would like to be being a bit of an ass myself?
*Oh my gawwd - they've even outsourced shrinks to India
>Say, do you have any psychological problems?
*No
>Are you sure?
*Yes
>Are you sure?
*Yes
>Come, come elucidate your thoughts.
*Shove it
>OK... "You am being a bit of an ass yourself" . Tell me more

Here I just gave up because by now I was convinced Eliza must be elderly herself. And Indian.