Saturday, March 29, 2008

Max Found


In a bizarre twist of alias' and runaway letters, three week Old Max Doo has been found.
According to investigators Max has been adopted by a close family friend. Max's disappearance has churned up the usual cranks (probable bed wetters) confessing that they ate Max. There were also various false accounts of Max being eaten by coyotes and local zombies. All of these stories are completely unfounded.

Another three week old Bantam chick has claimed to be the real Max. After extensive counseling it has been discovered that "Spewey" has always hated his name and used Max's disappearance as an opportunity to adopt a new name.

Poultry Protective Services attempted to return the five remaining chicks to their mother but it was discovered that she was put in a pie by Mrs. McGregor. The chick's uncle has custody pending the location of additional family members. The state has ordered Mr.CCD to attend parenting classes at the local community college.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Chicks Mixed Up?

................................. Max??
Police continue the search for Max, a three week old Bantam chick. The chick was reported missing last Thursday by his uncle Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo. The youth left a note stating he was running away. The police have no leads in the case but continue to question neighbors and friends for leads.
In an incredible twist early this morning another of Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo's nephews has confessed that he is in fact Max. A quick head count revealed that one chick was indeed missing and he is believed to be Spewey. Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo revealed to investigators that he can not tell the boys apart and usually says, "hey you, the yellow one" when he speaks with his nephews. Poultry Protective Services have the chicks in custody until Spewey is located.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

The Cadbury Mini Egg Diet

First you must go out and buy all the available packages of Cadbury Mini Eggs. They will be on sale today so hurry.

Start each day with an incredible cup of Mini egg hot chocolate. Heat a cup of 1/2 milk 1/2 water in microwave. Add hot chocolate mix, preferably Nesquik hot chocolate with bunny shaped marshmallows. Stir in 3-4 mini eggs. Drink with a straw. When you take a sip you will get little pockets of melted chocolate through the straw.

Next eat several of these delicious mini egg nests.
Follow your favorite recipe for Easter bird's nest candy, stuff full of mini eggs.

If you follow this diet plan daily for a week I will guarantee you will gain five pounds or you can send me all of your unused eggs, free of charge.

What have you got to lose besides a concave stomach and slender thighs?

Blogger would not upload delicious pictures so I'll try again later.

Happy Easter!!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Loneliness That is Being All Alone


We were the only family left on our block. Houses were locked tight, mini vans fled full of more "made in China crap" than a Walmart warehouse.

All alone. A tumble weed rolled across our driveway, dust settled on our windowsills. The only family left.

What happened? A chemical spill? Livestock mutiny? Another gustnado? Acid rain? Nope.
Spring break.

All alone.

Until we discover Shamu was calling Lean's name, Whale songs indeed, who could say no? Not us. Sea World; San Antonio, Texas: Only one hotel room left in the entire town and we got it. Sweet........... But.... It was a smoking room (pew) and there were teenagers everywhere, oozing from every pore of the hotel. GREAT. We're in for a Teens Go Wild Video Weekend.

Drew goes on a scouting mission to see what we're in for. None of the 100's of teens make eye contact, nothing unusual there. Are they all madly plotting their wild oat sowing, teen marauding exploits? Nay. They were all busily working math problems on hand held calculators. Our hotel housed the "countless" math nerds attending a local mathematics competition. You should have seen what those youths were wearing. Slacker butt jeans? No. T-shirts with witty math jokes on them. Outrageous. At least I hope they were jokes, I don't do math.

Sorry to be a complainer but sea World wasn't that fun, not torture just not tons of fun.
Rides- fun
Food-tasteless sawdust-like texture
Shows- more practice needed
Games- sledge hammering frogs=fun...losing tons of money on unwinnable games=no fun
Weather- good
Hotel Pool- saltier than the dead sea; corneas and tender lip tissue singed by salt

We stop at Park N Pizza on the way home. This place had unlimited video games, pizza buffet, mini golf, go carts, bumper boats,lazer tag and all the soda you can guzzle. Total Fun.

We tried to play our favorite game, Area 51, but some 8 year olds were hogging it. We crossed our arms and hovered over them but they weren't affected. We finally felt embarrassed and left. We found an even funner game the House of the Dead. All zombies, all the time ( except for that one kid running to us for rescue that we both shot, hey you can't stop to see of each character is oozing red gunk and lurching around). These zombies were fast. I once took a quiz to see what chance I have of surviving a zombie invasion, it was something like 33%. It lied, I have a 0% chance of surviving any kind of contact with zombies.

Here's the short version, sorry if you suffered through it:
Went to Sea World- it was so-so
Shot zombies- fun

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Mr.CDD, Shamu, and an Award

Lean would like to make her own Mr. CDD post. And so here it is:




Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo makes a flower, gum, and capri sun breakfast for his nephews.



.................................Next, we will be going to Sea World for a couple of days...............


Please continue to have conversations in my absence




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That's right, my swim suit photo layout finally paid off. No, I didn't give it to myself, although I would have if need be. Thanks Millie.



And I would like to pass it on to everyone who participated in the swim suit issue. Especially Brian cuz his tattoos are hawt.





Friday, March 7, 2008

Bathing Bloggers

An Homage to the Beauty of Blogdomhood

Welcome to the place that celebrates the beauty that is swimming bloggers!
Let me start by expressing my thanks to all of you swimming bloggers who were brave enough to participate in the very first Blogger Swimsuit issue. But mostly thanks to me because this blog is about me, for me, by me, and all me.

Blogging is the most important thing I do all day because it is about me, for me, by me and all me. But like some other self centered ego maniacal bloggers I also like to swim, but only if I can blog about it.

click

Just because you are a blogger does not mean you can no longer swim. You may still enjoy this past time while taking notes for a future post, try not to get your notebook wet.

The first series of photos are of me, Jean Knee, because this blog is about me,for me,by me, and all me--but I'm covering that up by posting pictures of other bathing bloggers too.






here I am sporting my swimsuit, Stevie Wonder glasses, and someone else's hat. Don't I look ready for the beach? Well too bad cuz it snowed this morning.


Here I am again drinking a blue drink with my dog Polka Dot.
And last but not least, because it's all me, all the time, here I am playing with a beach ball. WOW!

And now so you won't think I'm self centered are some pictures of other bloggers who still swim.










This next blogger is

Brian O Vretanos and his lovely lady Emilia. She was frightened of the water until she met Brian, together they conquered her aqua-phobia, although she will still not watch Aqua Man on TV









here they are at a family reunion














Here is another picture of Brian as a student at Oxford. He had a wild youth and sometimes feels self conscious about his tattoos.
I think they're hawt and I know you'll agree with me




Bee is our next bathing blogger. Here she is wearing her favorite Scarlet colored bathing ensemble. Her bad ashed black and scarlet hair is tucked under a bathing cap. The last time Bee showed her hair on the net there was a run on maroon hair dye causing shortages in parts of the country.



Super Happy Girl looks super happy in her super happy striped one piece. I thought she had red hair, guess not.


Person of the Millenium, Father Al Gore, struts his stuff for Tipper at summer camp where they met for the first time.
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The Infidel herself sent several of her favorite swimming poses. Readers, please remember to use your sunscreen.


The Clintons sent this jaunty photo of themselves dancing near a beach in Fiji.

This concludes the swimsuit issue. I hope I have broadened your mind to accept the fact that bloggers can also be swimmers. Even though I am the most important blogger.
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New Entry: This is a futuristic piece entitled: Friends At Teh Beach circa 2008



Carrot Jello
shows us her famous dimples- awww

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Mr. Cocka-Doodle-Doo's Nephews Come to Visit

Sweet Wind II

Hey that wasn't just sweet wind huffing it's bad breath all over, it was a
gustnado, baby!

Monday, March 3, 2008

Sweet Wind


THE MASTERPIECE FORMERLY KNOWN AS: THE MOST DANGEROUS MIRACLE OF ALL THE KNOWN DANGEROUS MIRACLES...

Blowing flowing and growing secretly across the wind

Always is the most captivating example of sweetness

Blowing flowing and growing secretly across the wind

Always is the most astonishing example of sweetness

Blowing flowing and growing secretly across the wind

Always is the most emblematic example of sweetness

Blowing flowing and growing secretly across the wind

Always is the most challenging example of sweetness

Blowing flowing and growing secretly across the wind

Always is the most monumental example of sweetness

Blowing flowing and growing secretly across the wind

Always is the most substancious example of sweetness

Blowing flowing and growing secretly across the wind

Always is the most disconcerting example of sweetness

Blowing flowing and growing secretly across the wind

Always is the most hallucinating example of sweetness..


.SÃO PAULO_08/SEP/2006 HEDILBERTO FERREIRAH



Look what that sweet wind did last night while the Knee family huddled in the closet.


Tori, give the wind a TAD award, please.
No bribery with pie preceded this occurrence.