Thursday, December 11, 2008

Secret Santa Sucks

So my gift is for a very interesting uh, "guy?" Nooter the dog.
Well Nooter I noticed this on your blog


So many males feel this very same way, plus in these hard economic times condoms can be expensive. Therefore I have the perfect gift for you:


Apparently you wind a rubber band firmly around your testicles and in a few weeks they will fall off. Then bingo, no more need for condoms. Awesome Huh? And there's plenty left over for your friends. ENJOY
at

23 comments:

  1. MillieDecember 11, 2008 at 8:50 AM

    *disturbed look*

    Did they actually test out that rubber band theory? And if so, on whom?

    My dog refused to take her birth control pills, the big tramp.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnndiDecember 11, 2008 at 9:04 AM

    **Starts to sing**

    There was a farmer had a dog,
    And Bingo was his name-o.
    (Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap)
    (Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap)
    (Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap)
    And Bingo was his name-o!

    But does it protect him from The Clap?

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousDecember 11, 2008 at 10:20 AM

    Erm, thoughtful gift?!! Hehehe I can honestly say I'm glad you got Nooter as your SSCSI instead of me! Ouch.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bee (the one who muses)December 11, 2008 at 12:23 PM

    BWAHAHAHHAHHAAAHAHAHA!! That is awesome jean knee!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Brian o vretanosDecember 11, 2008 at 1:31 PM

    The moral of this story is - when you need an elastic band, don't use any you find lying around the office - always use a fresh one from a hygenically sealed packet. You never know where a used one has been...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jean KneeDecember 11, 2008 at 1:49 PM

    that is very true Brian.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jean KneeDecember 11, 2008 at 1:50 PM

    Millie I do believe it's been tested out but not always with positive results.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ed & JeanneDecember 11, 2008 at 1:56 PM

    Just avoid the two weeks...crankiness tends to ensue...and it's not pretty.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousDecember 11, 2008 at 3:13 PM

    um, thanks?

    i think i will just eat one first and see if it has the same effect.

    ReplyDelete
  10. MelissaDecember 11, 2008 at 4:34 PM

    You're so thoughtful... and... uh... considerate...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Super Happy GirlDecember 11, 2008 at 4:41 PM

    If I were a guy I'd go "ouch", but I am not, so YAY!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Super Happy GirlDecember 11, 2008 at 4:41 PM

    Also, if I were a guy, I'd be pretty hot.

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  13. Super Happy GirlDecember 11, 2008 at 6:25 PM

    Uh, who said that?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Jean KneeDecember 11, 2008 at 6:35 PM

    sounds like Bee's brother Dan

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  15. Hey It's DiDecember 11, 2008 at 7:51 PM

    That is a fabulous idea! I love the idea of male sufferage for once:)

    ReplyDelete
  16. StaceyDecember 11, 2008 at 8:59 PM

    That is a great idea!

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  17. Marvel GooseDecember 12, 2008 at 8:10 AM

    I thought that rubber bands were condoms that they sold to people like needle-dick-the-bug-fucker.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Tracy Rambles On And OnDecember 12, 2008 at 3:09 PM

    Um, Jean Knee?
    Do you have some sort of "issue" with people who don't wear condoms?
    You should also warn him that they may start to...um....stink a few days or weeks before they fall off.
    I don't know about that from personal experience but I do remember when it was ok for people to "dock" a dogs tail with rubber bands and my neighbor always complaining about them stinking.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Tracy Rambles On And OnDecember 12, 2008 at 3:10 PM

    Um, Jean Knee?
    Do you have some sort of "issue" with people who don't wear condoms?
    You should also warn him that they may start to...um....stink a few days or weeks before they fall off.
    I don't know about that from personal experience but I do remember when it was ok for people to "dock" a dogs tail with rubber bands and my neighbor always complaining about them stinking.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Tracy Rambles On And OnDecember 12, 2008 at 3:10 PM

    Um, Jean Knee?
    Do you have some sort of "issue" with people who don't wear condoms?
    You should also warn him that they may start to...um....stink a few days or weeks before they fall off.
    I don't know about that from personal experience but I do remember when it was ok for people to "dock" a dogs tail with rubber bands and my neighbor always complaining about them stinking.

    ReplyDelete
  21. wynneDecember 13, 2008 at 11:36 PM

    Eww.

    I mean...ow?

    I mean...gangrene? (It would take them awhile to fall off, I think, and I dare say there would be time for...uh...some infection...to...ewww-owww.)

    Perhaps Nooter really should just eat them.

    ReplyDelete
  22. elasticwaistbandladyDecember 17, 2008 at 3:01 AM

    I bought condoms at the dollar store. They're not going to be used how you think though. I saw a crafty project using them that I wanted to try out.

    I may or may not put the pics on my blog depending on if I'm blessed with the virtue of good sense and/or good taste on that day. It's always in fluctuation, you know.

    ReplyDelete
  23. aubreyannieDecember 21, 2008 at 12:11 AM

    hahahahaha. sick.

    ReplyDelete