A Mother's Day gift with some bite. I presume that "you croc" refers to something like an impressive array of teeth, all still your own? Or something...
The way to properly decorate a severed croc head is to fashion a severed arm to stuff inside it then set it out on your mantel and just wait for the scintillating dinner conversation from your awed and envious friends and family.
I don't know what happened. One minute we were hoppin and boppin and doin the crocodile rock and the next minute some kid was severing the head of my reptilian dance partner and stuffing a card inside it.
ha, i totally have one up on brian. i completely recognized the play on words. 1 point for me. and i can only dream of receiving that kind of mother's day gift. dream, i tell ya.
I happen to know crocks (severed and/or not) have a taste for chicken.
I'm going to (respectfully) have to disagree with fellow commentetores: Do not let Crock close to Mr CDD, it might (may? I never know which one to use) a trap.
You bought me--yes, you bought me as if I were nothing more to you than a thing that you can buy at a store...SNIFF! Oh, I'm too overwhelmed with the memory...oh, the tragedy, the degradation! SNIFFLE!
(And this means I'm really upset--do you know how hard it is to SNIFF through a beak?)
...just...SOB...give me a minute...SNIFF...to collect myself...
I saved my money and waited for him to go on sale and visited him all the time dreaming of how awesome he'd look in my new kitchen. that's right at first he was just an object. then I made him a mother's day hat and the rest is history.
Okay--I gave you a chance to back down. Now the whole world will know the TRUTH.
Yes, the TRUTH.
Jean Knee bought me (weep) at a mere YARD SALE. And the price? No money changed hands, but she did have to allow the proprietor to fondle her bare feet.
My favorite singer is Mr. Rogers, as a matter of fact. I bet even you didn't know that. You've been spending far too much time with that croc head to pay attention to me anymore.
Is jean knee that hawwwt? No, she is merely hawwt (2 ws, not 3).
And could you get more pedantic than a chicken crossing the road joke? But I know the answers. All of them.
although if, hypothetically speaking of course, but if I wanted to aquire a garage sale item by letting the owner rub my feet, what would the address be?? do you know him personally?
Speaking of crocs and cocks, my first grader's class has a live cockroach in a cage that they're studying. She said the kids wanted to name it "Cock" but the teacher wouldn't let them. :)
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FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat's so thoughtful.
ReplyDeleteA Mother's Day gift with some bite. I presume that "you croc" refers to something like an impressive array of teeth, all still your own? Or something...
oh Brian, you know it's a play on words--instead of 'you rock' (which I do) it's 'you croc'
ReplyDeleteand it's another dried reptile
Ah! Now it makes sense. No I didn't get the play on words. Is a roc a reptile?
ReplyDeleteoh good lord Brian, don't, make me come after you
ReplyDeleteHA HA HA!! If I was a mother, I would love to get something kewl like that!
ReplyDeleteHAPPY HOT MOMMA'S DAY JEAN KNEE!
I got nothing for Mother's Day except lots and lots of crepe paper stuffed envelopes from Melody.
ReplyDeleteI'm coming to yer town to steal yer croc and claim it as my own.
The way to properly decorate a severed croc head is to fashion a severed arm to stuff inside it then set it out on your mantel and just wait for the scintillating dinner conversation from your awed and envious friends and family.
ReplyDeleteNo. I disagree with the last commenter.
ReplyDeleteThe best thing to do is to give the croc head to a close friend and display the head of an old biddy advice columnist instead.
I don't know what happened. One minute we were hoppin and boppin and doin the crocodile rock and the next minute some kid was severing the head of my reptilian dance partner and stuffing a card inside it.
ReplyDeleteI may never recover from the trauma.
Maybe I'll write a song about it to help me.
Whoever wrote that last comment is a genius! I haven't laughed that hard since plugging the toilets at the Hoover Dam.
ReplyDeleteSomehow it's very fitting. It will go well with your dried frogs and frozen pet fish.
ReplyDeleteHappy Mothers Day Jean Knee!
Bravo!
ReplyDeleteha, i totally have one up on brian. i completely recognized the play on words. 1 point for me. and i can only dream of receiving that kind of mother's day gift. dream, i tell ya.
ReplyDeletehappy mother's day, jean knee!
Will the Croc hang with the cock? Some fancy duo thing maybe:)
ReplyDeleteThat is an AWESOME gift!! I'm thinking you could have more fun with the Croc than Mr. Cock-A-Doodle-Doo. Hmmmmmm.
ReplyDeleteI love the green eyes.
ReplyDeleteThe green eyes totally made it for me.
Happy Mother's day Jean Knee!
ReplyDeleteI happen to know crocks (severed and/or not) have a taste for chicken.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to (respectfully) have to disagree with fellow commentetores: Do not let Crock close to Mr CDD, it might (may? I never know which one to use) a trap.
Not to be confused with the comfy footwear...
ReplyDeleteJean knee, do not allow that klin person to give you any ideas.
ReplyDeleteI am MUCH more fun than a dried crocodile head.
ReplyDeleteAnd my eyes are far lovelier than any dumb lizard. Really. Look at my eyes.
ReplyDeleteWhy aren't you looking at my eyes?
[mumbling in beak] dumb lizard mumble mumble
ReplyDeleteOH MY LANTA THE COCK SPEAKS!!
ReplyDeletethat's an imposter
ReplyDeleteAn IMPOSTER?
ReplyDeleteI am NOT an imposter! Look--I have wings! I am flapping them!
Why can't you SEE, jean knee? I am your own, your devoted, cock!
my rooster only talks to me. and even then only if no one else is around
ReplyDeleteyou fake!
you fraud!
you poseur!
Oh yeah?
ReplyDeleteWell, I say it IS me. I'd like you to prove it ISN'T.
Jean Knee: Ask it questions ONLY the real Mr CDD would know the answers to.
ReplyDeleteThat ought to do it.
okay
ReplyDeletewhere did I buy you?
how much did you cost?
you might get the first one right since I know who the identity thief is, but you don't know the second one--ha!
Who is your favorite singer?
Is Jean Knee as hawwwt in person as she is on her blog?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Good ones Jean Knee.
ReplyDeletelet's see who is the impostor now.
What they hey.
ReplyDeleteShow yourself!
Easy cheesy.
ReplyDeleteYou bought me--yes, you bought me as if I were nothing more to you than a thing that you can buy at a store...SNIFF! Oh, I'm too overwhelmed with the memory...oh, the tragedy, the degradation! SNIFFLE!
(And this means I'm really upset--do you know how hard it is to SNIFF through a beak?)
...just...SOB...give me a minute...SNIFF...to collect myself...
a fake, a fake!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI saved my money and waited for him to go on sale and visited him all the time dreaming of how awesome he'd look in my new kitchen. that's right at first he was just an object. then I made him a mother's day hat and the rest is history.
i knew you couldn't answer those questions
Okay--I gave you a chance to back down. Now the whole world will know the TRUTH.
ReplyDeleteYes, the TRUTH.
Jean Knee bought me (weep) at a mere YARD SALE. And the price? No money changed hands, but she did have to allow the proprietor to fondle her bare feet.
My favorite singer is Mr. Rogers, as a matter of fact. I bet even you didn't know that. You've been spending far too much time with that croc head to pay attention to me anymore.
Is jean knee that hawwwt? No, she is merely hawwt (2 ws, not 3).
And could you get more pedantic than a chicken crossing the road joke? But I know the answers. All of them.
There, jean knee. Remember, you asked for it!
nope, no
ReplyDeleteall the answers are wrong, sorry
although if, hypothetically speaking of course, but if I wanted to aquire a garage sale item by letting the owner rub my feet, what would the address be??
do you know him personally?
The horror! So, you are denying it ALL? Oh, I never thought you would stoop so low as to deny your own fowl!
ReplyDeleteAnd of COURSE I know that fellow personally. He owned me for two years and three months and 15 days, and he liked to rub his hairy feet on me.
As for his address--aw, c'mon! I'm a CHICKEN! Do I carry an address book around with me?
stop this outrage now or you will be sorry.....
ReplyDeletewait for an email with my demands
p.s. why are you still up? the real Mr. CDD has been asleep since 9:00 pm.
ReplyDeletedon't you have to get up early to throw papers or something??
I'm not afraid of you. I know where you sleep.
ReplyDeleteAnd how can you be ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that I'm asleep, anyway? Huh? Do you ever see me close my eyes? Huh? Do ya?
ReplyDeleteI know when my cock is sleeping, I can just feel it.
ReplyDeletewe have a psychic bond
That's not a psychic bond. That's just rubber cement.
ReplyDeleteBut maybe I could use a little shut-eye...(you know, figuratively speaking, since my eyes don't close.)
ReplyDeleteI still love you, jean knee, even if you won't tell the truth about us.
(peck on cheek)
*makes popcorn*
ReplyDeletethis is gettin' good
total fraud, NCS. I think we will have to just ignore the fake Mr.CDD heckler
ReplyDeleteMax (who is a very smart chicken) says we can do a DNA test.
ReplyDeleteI took this advice and enhanced it by 1,000: Then we can go to Maury's show and see who the impostor is!
brilliant, no?
brilliant
ReplyDeletehow do we get the imposters DNA?
Mr. Impostor says he lives with you, have him give you a feather.
ReplyDeleteNo wait, a saliva sample?
Toe nail clipping?
Does anyone know?!?
I think the imposter lives in Houston, that's all I'm sayin
ReplyDeleteSuspenful!
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of crocs and cocks, my first grader's class has a live cockroach in a cage that they're studying. She said the kids wanted to name it "Cock" but the teacher wouldn't let them. :)
ReplyDelete