Tuesday, July 31, 2007

What's in a Name?

Been seeing a lot about names in blog land lately. Name my baby, you named her what!?!?,maybe you should keep your maiden name- Jenny Denny (real person true name, I know her) Doesn't quite do it for me etc.

So today Lean and I plan on meeting her friend Danish (fake name, real boy) and his mom Cutie(fake name, real mom) at the spray park. We are going to meet his new baby brother. We get there, help them out of their car, I ask Danish what his brother's name is. He says "Marty McFly Julian Danish". I ask Cutie, "what did Danish say?"
answer 'Marty McFly Julian Danish". Okay.
I smile and look at Cutie. She smiles back and we go on. Normally I wouldn't give this a thought but this is Cutie and she was an art major- creative and such. That could really be his name.

I say to baby, "Hey Marty Mcfly" he gurgles and drools. No help there. We start eating lunch and I say, "What are you going to call him?" Cutie, "Well his grandpa calls him Marty McFly Julian, his daddy calls him Marty McFly, but I just like Marty"...UH-HUH... We chew on. Cutie and Danish are a bit eccentric so this isn't as surprising as you might think.

Keep chewing. "Did you really name him Marty McFly Julian Danish?" See here's where she could really have driven the nail in my Dork-o- meter. But she didn't, she's sweet like that (I would have had her going for quiite awhile I tell you).
Cutie, "It's just Julian".

But they really do call him Marty McFly. Do you think he'll grow up warped?

Monday, July 30, 2007

Party Using 'Product'

This party is a black, white,and pink scottie party. Sorry my camera's crappy, click to get a better view.

First pic shows cupcakes- these are fake, real ones wouldn't last around here long enough for me to take a pic (yeah, I'd be the one one shoving them in my mouth, what's your point) scottie is glued to a pink pixie stick then stuck in cupcake.


next up see the party table decorations


this is the place setting


these are autograph journals made by the guests (small one) the other is a journal- party- autograph -type thing for the birthday girl

There's more but you get the idea-and since 'product' is now paid for I'm no longer considered an extortionist getting free 'product'.
yea for me.

Take that you evil company

Friday, July 27, 2007

Keep On With Your Bad Self

Woke up this morning on a mission. Today I'm gonna look bad ashed. Slip into shower and shave all visible hairy surfaces ( sorry crap, the stache had to go).

Out of the shower into the grooming zone. I need extra time here. Mascara, eyeliner, base, powder and even,dare I tell you, shiny, kick ash lip color. Style my hair into a spiky, funky 80's do. Spray hub's aerosol deodorant all over pitt area- I deserve it- don't I?

Clothing: forgo the usual jean shorts & tie dye t-shirt combo. I need an edge here.
Black city shorts and tank. Top with groovy, olive, crinkly type shirt. Add rockin shark's tooth necklace and silly little sequined flip flops. Spike the hair some more.

Looking groomed,looking like a bad ash on a mission, looking good. Oh yeah

Ready to go on the mission.

No car keys--what?!!! I have to have my sweet ride take me on my mission. Search frantically, scour the garage, dig through the dog food- no keys but there's another toad--do they even eat dog food?

Hair do falls into a boring house wife do because of drizzling, this is Texas- rains every day.

Panic. Call hubs, screech into phone.... he's coming to bring me his spare.

I can still pull off this bad ash mission. Regroup

Spike the hair, check the mirror, yeah I wouldn't mess with that bad ash, stuck in the 80's crazy chick.

Drive. Exit car.

Throw open door of business, all eyes stare ( two people are present). Who is this bad ash?
"Can we help you?"

I'm here to pick up my party stuff.( such eloquent use of language- thanks)

"oh, didn't recognize you without my glasses" UH_HUH- I know its cause I'm looking groomed,confident and bad ashed. I turn to give a better view of my spiked hair.

"Oh, here it is, we liked it we just can't do it right now..yadda yadda yadda"

UH_HUH,what about the photos I sent?

"Here they are yadda yadda yadda"

Right, I don't want to leave you thinking I was trying to get free 'product' from you.

"Oh, no yadda yadda yadda"

Okay, that's fine but I want to pay for the 'product'. ( you see, I have granite counter tops)

" Oh, no yadda yadda yadda"

I thrust an envelope at them, they try to return it, I counter thrust and leave. Still looking edgy and in control, baby!

Return home. Don jean shorts and tie dye. Look in mirror.

Smile.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

First Grounding

Long and boring, proceed with coffee

Yes, I had to do it. I had to ground Lean, for the very first time. I feel like a heel but I must follow through. She can't play with her friends ALL DAY LONG.

What was her heinous crime you ask? Succumbing to the "Christy Murphy" effect. You know the kid who smoothly got you to do something you shouldn't, escaping correction because she didn't actually do the alleged crime herself- she just convinced you to do it. UH--HUH "Christy Murphy", more on her powers of persuation later.

So Lean's "Christy Murphy" and another friend were over yesterday to play. I figure they will be okay without me hovering over their every move. Plus one of the girl's Dads was out next door mowing his acreage.

I foolishly watched some hidden camera type show that wasn't-- even-- funny. Poor judgement, I know. Lean comes in soaking wet. I say,"what's going on?" She say's "we played in the water". Fully clothed, without permission. She did this once before and "Christy Murphy" was sent home. Of course I go see if they are all wet. They are. Plus they have scattered wheat (I'm a farmer's daughter- more on that later) all over the garage and then watered it. I had already told her to leave the wheat alone. Don't mess with my wheat people, I mean children!

My mouth hangs open, "Christy Murphy" perks up and proudly says "I told her to do it!" I send the girls home and cram Lean in the tub. She's crying and miserable then I realize-DUH!, its the "Christy Murphy" effect. Yep, she was smoozed into mis behaviour. So I smoozed her into feeling better.

Don't get me wrong, I know she did some things she knew were wrong, she's no angel. But man-oh-man I know how you can be easily led astray like that. My little lamb's getting out in the world. Lucky for her I already battled the "Christy Murphy" effect. I'll help her learn too.

Monday, July 23, 2007

I Got Nothing

Can't think of nothing, ain't doing nothing, I got nothing. So here's something Brenda found and I'm stealing it ha haaaawww awww




I am nerdier than 32% of all people. Are you a nerd? Click here to find out!

Friday, July 20, 2007

Cramp This:....men exit now





Have A Happy Period and make your own stickies at AlwaysSticks.com

You know that guy that said there's nothing new under the sun? He lied. Menstruation is now a happy time of the month. Don't believe me? Just visit
always and see for yourself. This site is dedicated to making your menses fun and happy. HAHP, have a happy period, is their motto.

See the sticker up above? I designed it on the HAHP website. But that's not all, the site also enables you to design menstrual cards, t-shirts, and even a crossword puzzle for your best girl friends. There's a game section that has the coolest sanitary pad roller coaster game that you can even down load onto your computer. The high scorers are women with names like Naughty Dee Dee and Tempest. Imagine having your name join theirs as you perfect your game.

Wait,theres still more. learn new lingo so you can text message all your friends about the happiness that is menstruation. There's even a section to help you plan a monthly period party with your gal pals. I know what you're thinking, " this is so great, It should be a world wide sensation!!" Well guess what? It's available in 29 different countries. Now the whole wide world can join in and HAHP with us!!!

But that's not all. There are even more exciting feminine products now available like the soft cup and commandos. Wow! Check them out here.

But that's not all! Not only are periods now happy and fun, so are the sanitary products that go with it. Tampon crafts are easy and fun. Here are just a few :





bunny




v/a>
menorah
snowflake
ghost





p>Don't worry men we haven't forgotten you (I know at least one of you kept reading).


div>Viagra cuff links


robot condom dispenser>

to learn more visit tampon crafts

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Let's Ramble

GM RAMBLE; been gettin some good mail lately. Got a sweet sunflower card from Polly, an easy (you got me at easy) chicken recipe from Melissa R. , and Happy Tags from Catherine. She even used my polka dots on one of them. Thank you girls.
I mailed ten, that's right 10, GM packages out today. You may get one again ( of course I didn't keep track of who I sent the last ones to- where's the fun in that?).

RANT RAMBLE: I still have not picked up my party stuff from the 'product' company
because, quite frankly, I never want to see those @#$^&'s again.

STALKER RAMBLE: I keep joining swaps and then stalking my partners by email by asking them too many questions and telling them too many things. I know I'm doing it but I can't sto: I hate getting corn stuck in my teeth

RANDOM RAMBLES: once my friend Jean Uh and I threw a giant ball of peanut butter at Benny Rogers at school

the last time I flew, someone left a Details magazine on the plane. I read every word, even the ads, and I'll do it again if I find another

I wish I had a super power

Monday, July 16, 2007

All American Rejects

WARNING: this post is long and boring and full of bad language. If you find any of these things offensive stop..reading..now.

I love kid's parties. I plan and have them all the time. It's just something I do.

While rumaging around for ideas I found that 'certain products' were manufactured by a local comopany. I emailed them a breezy little note (yeah, sometimes I can be breezy) saying I liked their 'product' , had used it in my previous line of work etc.. and inquired about a certain "product' I was searching for. They returned a breezy little email saying they didn't have it but would keep it in mind for a future product development. They developed many of their 'products' based on suggestions from customers. la la la

They had never promoted thier 'product' as a decoarative craft item so I offered to put together a party and see if they would be interested in working with me to exapnd and market their 'product' to the party preoccupied like myself.

I worked up a party, they liked it and requested I make up two more parties.
I kept the parties simple since I had noticed at our meeting that they weren't too adept at thinking outside the box. They didn't even realize there were other boxes out there- you know the type.

I sent in a photo layout and outline for the additional parties. NEVER HEARD BACK.
I emailed them a breezy little note requesting a time to meet and discuss marketing strategies and such.

They sent back an email stating that they weren't interested because they were short staffed but that I could PURCHASE thier 'product' if I wantedf to develop more parties. The implication being that I was trying to dupe them into giving me their 'product' FOR FREE. We're talking a retail value of $6.00, it probably cost them $.15 to make. I don't need to trick anyone into giving me free products. I've got granite counter tops, damnit!! (that was for you EWBL)

Yes I took, FOR FREE, about 10 packages of their 'product'... To develop and market 'their product', to expand 'their company'. Did they mention returning My materials that cost Me money to develop 'their product'??? That would be a no.

So I ask you, why would they want me to waste My time and My money? OH right, I wanted free 'products', I keep forgetting.

Two things in their favor: 1. Their 'prodict' really is good for parties (their loss)
2..they stress that they are 100% made in America. BUT....

Is it the American way to be so anally impacted that dynamite couldn't blasst your shit loose? TAKE A CHANCE PEOPLE.

No one (me) is going to spend time and money to showcase your product if they are trying to get $6.00 of your stuff for free. Trust me on this one.

That is why I am awarding them the title of: All American Rejects (for free)

No offense to the band, your music rocks

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Favorite Musing

An insomniac, , agnostic, ,dyslexic person:

someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog



ahhh, the sweet musings of life

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Neon

I met my best girl friend playing saxophone in our high school band. She played sax too. We both sucked but since there were only 27 in my graduating class they let everybody in. In fact they begged.
What can I say, I was a bit quirky and Jean Uh was a bit shy. I spewed nonsense, she grinned. The perfect friendship.

Second year of high school band, enter Neon, a tall skinny, very quirky guy who played snare drum. Friday night football games we three became inseparable.

We knew all the cheers and screamed them like no one else could. When Neon laughed he fell all over the place grabbing himself, then anyone within reach (this was always Jean Uh and me). We laughed constantly at the inane things only teens can find funny. Pretty much everything. Neon even saved Jean Uh from getting her rear sqashed by a very large, very mad senior, what she did to cause such wrath I can't remember. Neon yelled at the large, mad girl and swatted at her fly-like until Jean Uh was safe.

During the rest of the time at school we went our own ways but fifth period band you better watch out. One day we dressed like pirates and put a shower curtain ring on Neon's ear. We stared at the ceiling with our tongues out in our formal band picture for the year book. We turned slow motion doughnuts in the school parking lot.

During History class Neon and I made plans for what dorky things we were gonna do during band and especially at Friday's game. Once our jabbering got us sent to the office (this is 10 th grade mind you) and we got licks with a paddle drilled full of holes. The History teacher was cool though and didn't inform the parents. Neon's parents would not have taken it well. We weren't exactly from the same side of the tracks. Neon's house didn't even have electricity some of the time.
By senior year we had all discovered the opposite sex so didn't hang around as much. Neon even quit band. I graduated before Jean Uh and left for college. She kept me informed of Neon's gentle slide to trouble.

Fast forward several years. I'm at work and a tall guy runs up to me, lifts me off my feet, yells and falls all over me laughing. Yep it was Neon. He was filling in at my work place as a temp. He told me how he had been in jail for theft and hinted at some other stuff. He was currently at a halfway house getting himself back on track. We talked and laughed and relived high school. It was like no time had passed.

That night someone left a window open and stole all the computers on our entire wing, except for mine. it was untouched. BFF Neon.

Reuse Refuse

Even though Father Al's green earth concert didn't go over too well, Target's Reuse Refuse idea has me thinking... On the side of Target's bags is a blurb with "10 ways to reuse your target bag". I like the idea of reusing things instead of just throwing them out and since I recently received some Fresh Blast Super Energizing chewing gum I decided to take Target's lead;

10 Ways to Reuse your ABC Fresh Blast Gum (some of these are new ideas and some are classics I'm sure you've done before)

1. use it to create ergonomic, form fitting ear plugs (especially good for parents)
2. use it to keep slippery floor rugs in place
3. put it under restaurant tables to amuse youngsters
4. throw it in your spouse's hair if you lose an argument
5. throw it in your own hair if you want to go home from work early
6. throw it on a store sidewalk on a hot day. Watch customers step in it and string it all around; you can get at least 4-5 people with just one piece
7. use it as a denture adhesive. this can be tricky because how can you chew the gum if you're teeth aren't in, how do you hold your teeth in to chew the gum without gum adhesive- it can be a vicious circle- you'll need a partner
8. if one of those giant SUV's parks so close you have to crawl in the back seat on the passenger side; write a polite note asking them to please not take up so much room next time etc., use your abc gum to affix the note to the door handle of the offending vehicle (better yet, aim for the key hole)

remember to always reuse your refuse

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Yellow and orange Swap Haul


I recieved my summer luvin swap package last week. I got some very kewl stuff. I've been trying to get a pic up but I cant get it off easy share etc etc so I'm gonna try to link you to cheryl to see all my goodies. Just scroll down and you'll see it. okay it keeps saying the address is wrong- whatever that means- so her url is cheryl-comfort.blogspot.com/ I'll try to link again later.

Any way give her site a look over, she loves vintage and does amazing things when she is bored. Thank you Cheryl for being my swap partner. I loved gettin all that summer colored fun.

This Post Has Been Removed By That Crybaby Big Brother

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Cupcake; ..Tale of a geriatric fish


Our pet fish, Cupcake, is a two year old, lovely blue Betta. According to his care booklet he can expect to live two-two and a half years, possibly three years with excellent care. I was once asked who I would like to be if I were reincarnated.
The answer is easy, if I have to come back I would like to be our fish, cupcake.

From the start Cupcake wasn't very active. He understood the value of taking it easy. Now that he is in his dotage he rarely moves but recieves the best geriatric care afforded anyone, man or fish. His frequent naps have turned into comas now. Everyone has advice or some comment. "He's probably just hibernating." "Give him a pea because he might have a vitamin deficiency." " Feed him more" "change his water"
Through much trial and error I now have a care plan that lets him make the most of his remaining months.

He stays completely unanimated almost always now. Not a twitch, not a tiny movement from his wee fins. It became difficult for him to rise to the top of his bowl for a breath. Several times we didn't think he would make it. My husband bought him a plastic anemone to sit on so that he would be closer to the top and would not have as far to swim. He began to spit out his food. I then began to put his food in his bowl and let it soften for a while. After it is properly moistened I shake him out of his coma and he eats a few small bites before returning to his comatose state.
It became apparent to me that I would need to feed him this way several times a day in order for him to be properly nourished. At times he seems unable to rise for his breath so my husband lifts him up with his own hand. He needs constant, around the clock care which we provide.
With the way elder care in our country is going I would so much rather be my fish than myself.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Mailbox Mayhem

We had a few fireworks left over from 4th (these were the special environmentally safe kind, the fuses are lit by atomic fusion instead of fire) so of course we had to go ahead and use them, right?
By some weird twist of fate one of them got off course and zipped into our mailbox
incinerating everything inside. There was this one blob that looked like melted plastic, but what would that be doing in the mailbox. Completely unidentifiable, we will never know what it was...........so sad really

Friday, July 6, 2007

Gayes or Geeks?

I was watching The Upside Down Show with Lean this a.m. Later we will have to play "those silly boys"; we ride around on scooters and say & do "silly" stuff just like Shane and David. I always have to be Shane, the baldy.

So what I was wondering is this; are Shane and David gayes or geeks? I can't tell, I really can't. Sometimes geeks are sooo geeky they seem gaye because of their intense geekness. Sometimes gayes are sooo gaye they seem gaye because of their intense gayeness.

Either way doesn't much matter. All I know is I'd much rather play Shane and David than Strawberry Shortcake and her "berry" cute friends.

So, which are they? I was just wondering....

disclaimer: I love all geeks; gaye, straight, or bi

double disclaimer; I love all gayes; geeks, straight, or bi

Thursday, July 5, 2007

GM stuff

I got some cool invisible Kool Aid from m2p today. We mixed it right up and spilled itall around, as usual, but since its invisible no one even knows, Ha!
HERE'S a picture of that awesome stuff all mixed up.

Are You Listening?

Think your kids don't listen to you? Think again. You'll know for sure when they use your own strategies to out maneuver you.

Lean comes in this morning and says," Should I have a cone or just a scoop of ice cream for breakfast?". ??? AHHH the lesser of two evils approach--(I used it on her just yesterday. Me "Do you want to take a bath or clean your room?")

intercept me "You can't have ice cream for breakfast. None of your friends have ice cream for breakfast". Lean "I'm not those kids and you're not those moms. We have our own way of doing things." UH HUH, the old reverse jump off the bridge tactic. smooth.
Me; silence,followed by staring Yeah, they listen

Monday, July 2, 2007

Only on the WORLD WIDE WEB

Things change and happen so fast now that we have Father Al's internet. Only on the net can you apply for, get rejected then referred for another job in about three minutes. Yep it just happened to me.

I applied to be an editor of craftgossip.com's blog. Less than three minutes later I was told it didn't sound right for my skills but I would be great as a craft developer here: craftbits.com.

Well it sure beats having to wait and wonder I guess. The price was way too low- $35.00 for a craft project. Maybe it's not too bad but it won't buy baby any new shoes (she wears a triple wide that must be special ordered and costs about as much as a car payment.)

By the time I next post I might be the new CEO of Z-international, proud producer of polka dot stickers- 420 in a pack for $1.77 I should have that job, after all I am their main purchaser.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Post Some Secrets, Y'all

I've been over at post secret again but there weren't any new posts yet sooo.
How's about we have our own Post Secret right here? Let's call it Post Arbitrary ,Meaningless secrets. Last week I "confessed" that Idon't own anything with polka dots on it. Since then I did find some kitchen gloves with polka dots, but whatever, that's irrelevant any way. This week my tawdry little secret is going to be shocking to some. Elastic if you are reading this turn back now.

Two days ago I used my husband's aerosol deodorant. I sprayed it all over the place and then admired the fact that there was no white residue and it was instantly dry, not to mention that lovely manly scent. And. I. Didn't. Even. Feel. Guilty.

Father AL, I'm sorry I added to global warming in such a flagrant and enjoyable way. The label said no cfcs but I don't believe it either. The worst part is I might even do it again.

Now your turn. Nothing too shocking please.I want to keep my G rating. Plus, remember Ive not taken an oath of silence---I will tell on you! Also I know where the delete button is.